Michael Jackson

Did you watch the Michael Jackson memorial service? I caught parts of it and I have to say, it was quite tasteful.

The thing is... I'm not sure how I feel about us memorializing him like this. I know we've all been thinking it and I'll hold off a bit because the guy just died, but I will say this...

Since I (and about 99% of the world) did not know him, all I have to judge him on is his media coverage, which is quite sad, but also honestly true. Are we all huge bandwagon jumpers?

In the coming years, it will be interesting to see how we remember him.

But, his gorgeous daughter absolutely made me cry. I think that we forget that he was a real person. A dad. To us, he was just Wacko Jacko.

No doubt though, he was a true talent.

Really Now...

Is anyone else suprized that it took until last night for some celebrity to boom boom pow Perez Hilton?

Seriously.

You can't do and say what he does and expect not to piss people off!

If I were Britney Spears, I'd have bitch slapped him by now.

Huh...

I don't look at myself as an 'always involved' person. When I think of myself, I think of myself as the serially single person.

But, looking back at my dating history, it's actually quite rare for me to be single.

So, now, I'm back in the dating pool. Since I haven't done this in awhile, I'm finding myself with a question that's been bothering me a bit.

Now, I'm guessing that the answer to this question is both relative and subjective, but I thought I'd put it out there anyways...

When dating, at what point do you stop seeing other people?

This is something that I've never had to worry about before. I've always been clearly interested in one person at a time. However, as slutty as this may make me sound, I'm seeing a couple of guys right now. I went out with the goal of meeting new people and I guess I succeeded.

To expand my question... how do you start weeding people out? Is there etiquette?

But, mostly, when do you become exclusive? Do you have a chat about this?

God, I probably sound like such a child, but I actually have never been in a position where things like this would matter. I had one serious boyfiend through highschool. I had another in college. Another from the end of college until recently. All of them were aquired doing non-date-hunting activities. All were... unintentional if you will.

Do I wait until it starts to feel icky to spend time with someone else? Will I just know?

Jeebus, I'm such a dork.

Happiness

I read over my blog posts from the last few months awhile ago and noticed that I was in a shitty mood almost all of the time. I mean, it's not like I was naive, but it was a little eye opening.

I've been working on being happier. I did go through a rough time. It wasn't peaches. But that doesn't mean I have to be miserable now.

One of the things I've started doing is dating.

Oy.

Now, I'm sure anyone who has been out of the dating pool for a significant amount of time can relate to my 'oy'.

I know this is going to sound melodramatic, but I've just started to realize that me and the person that I thought was it for me aren't going to get married. It's not quite as pathetic as it sounds... he's only just started to realize the same thing. It would be worse if I was the only one left hanging on.

This is a big revelation for me. I've dated between me and the ex's on and off stints. But I've never dated with a purpose.

Now, that's not as whore-ish as it sounds. I'm not the type of girl who sleeps with random men and that wasn't my goal in dating without a purpose.

I just never looked at things in a long-term sense. Now, I've started looking for the it person again. It's clicked in my brain that I hadn't actually found him, and I'm dating differently. I'm dating with a purpose. Not to be less lonely or kill time.

I know this will sound really stupid, but I think I experienced about as close to a divorce as I could possibly get without being married. I really honestly thought that that person was it for me. I planned out my life. Based my decisions on him. I moved to another province for him. And to move away from that took an awful lot of will power. To separate myself from the idea of what we could have took even more effort.

In simpler terms, it took me a really stupidly long time to move on completely.

I think we're all allowed one horrendous breakup. I've certainly had mine. And I've learned a lot from it.

I've learned that basing my life on what someone else wants is retarded.

I've learned tolerance.

I've learned how important it is to be kind with another persons' heart.

I never, ever want to make another person feel the way I felt. I never, ever want to cause someone to hurt as much as I hurt. And I think I'll be a better partner because of it.

So, dating. We'll see how it goes.

Things I Hate

Many little things have been drivng me completely nuts lately. Because this is my blog and I can do whatever the hell I like, I decided to make a list.

So....

Things I Hate:

I hate that although the speed limit on the Cheif Peguisis Bridge is 80, I always get stuck behind the one tool going 50.

I hate that the City of Winnipeg will close down main street on a Saturday and not put up any notices until you practically run into the fucking baracade.

I hate that lululemon pants are so expensive but make my ass look so good.

I hate that school is costing me a fortune.

I hate that my parents act like teenagers even though they're technically still raising one and then have the balls to ask me why I think my little brother has no sense of responsibility.

I hate that some of my AP friends look at me like I'm stupid just because I'm not a lawyer or something. I wish I could stamp my IQ and maybe my GPA on my forehead.

I hate that I just paid 10 bucks to see Dance Flick because my friend thought Star Trek would be 'too geeky'. What a waste of 10 bucks.

I hate that I can't find a job that makes me feel good.

I hate that I want to feel good and I can't just work a job for a paycheque.

I hate that my chosen career has such a high failure rate.

I hate that my ex boyfriend is shacking up with some chick with no ambition just because she'll pop out babies on demand.

I hate that some boys just can't make up their mind.

I hate that people phone me at work -- and put no thought into the fact that they're talking to an actual person -- just to vent and make me feel two inches tall just because it makes them feel better.

I hate that I don't make more money.

I hate traffic downtown between the hours of 3 and 6.

I hate that I can't skate all summer long.

I hate that the Winter Club is so fucking expensive. Is a machine that dries your bathing suit worth that much?

I hate that it's going to take years to finish school.

I hate 'that friend' (that we all have) that is so fucking selfish and can't keep plans to save her life.

I hate that I don't get enough sleep.

Oh! And I forgot...

... brand new 'Jon and Kate + 8' in like an hour!

I love a good train wreck... and she's so nuts! It's great!

But, I almost feel bad watching because you just know that in... 15 years, we'll be watching 'Jon minus Kate sends his 8 to rehab' or something equally as tragic.

Poor kids!

The Steven Pages

I just found out that Mr. Steven Page has a blogger account...

http://www.thestevenpages.blogspot.com/

It's actually quite coherent considering. :P

Oh, shut up, don't even rag on me for saying that. He brought those jokes on himself.

There's also a random song about Linda Ronstadt. Weird.

And what's up with his hair? I wonder if cocaine destroys hair follicles?

Anyways, that's enough Steven Page bashing. Well, sorta bashing... just the drug stuff is considered bashing I guess. I actually really like his music... as for his choice of recreational activities, those I'm not such a fan of.

I've always loved that he was so smart. I'm constantly amazed that people who are so incredibly smart somehow still make such poor choices. That is all.

Back to your regular scheduled programing.