Well I Forgot I Had a Blog

I totally forgot.  I don't think anyone ever really read this blog and I always just posted for me, so that probably explains why I forgot it existed.

I haven't written anything meaningful in ages which also explains why I forgot about this blog as the topic I usually covered was writing.

Finished university, went part way through graduate studies before realizing I wasn't cut out to be a research scientist.  Continuing my education in a way that is more applied.

I work in the mental health field, which some may find odd considering my previous career aspirations, but me not so much.  I like to people watch.  I like to know what a person's story is.  This applies to both career paths I think.  This also applied to radio and why I was in that career.  The major change is that I now help others instead of making money for a giant corporation.  While I word it this way, I don't think I was unfulfilled in broadcasting.  I think I just feel a little more fulfilled now.  For now.  We will see what the future brings, though.  But, in general, if I'm going to sweat over something, I'd rather it be something important as opposed to things that fall under the category of 'the small stuff.'

Life is funny, isn't it?  I wouldn't say I grew out of wanting to be a writer.  But I would say that as an older young adult, I've been forced to take a more realistic look at my life.  I'd like to buy a house.  I want some stability.  This is the exact reason I wanted to leave radio.  The lack of stability was driving me mad.  So when I was coming up on being done with school (which I was attending for the second damn time), there were some hard decisions to make.  I wasn't 19 anymore.  I couldn't imagine doing the type of work I did when I started in radio again, and it would have been similar to a start in the film/tv industry.  I remember moving off for my first radio gig, no idea what it entailed, no money, all my stuff packed in the back of my car, not knowing a soul in the city where I was headed, and, before smart phones, only a vague idea of the direction I was headed in from looking at the highway numbers on google maps.  One time later in my nomadic radio career, I literally started out in Saskatoon and just kinda zig zagged my way towards Red Deer, figuring I'd find it eventually.  I did this sort of thing multiple times without a care in the world.  I look back at that time in my life now and laugh/have a panic attack.  To be so carefree.  I think the part of me that led that life still exists inside of me, but there're other parts of me who have changed, grown, and have come to want different things.

I don't go around slamming doors on potential life choices.  Who knows what the future might bring.  But right now I'm in a reasonably pleasant place in life.

Anyways.  The reason I remembered this blog.  I went out for lunch recently with a friend I hadn't seen in quite awhile.  I'd met her back when I was in university.  We had been in the same creative writing class.  Nice girl.  I don't know why we lost touch.  She seems to be in a similar situation to me in that she's gotten herself a 'real' job and has settled down.  The only difference is that she hasn't stopped writing.  I don't think I ever thought that deciding to pursue something else as my career meant that I had to stop writing.  I mean, I'm not that dumb.  But I guess I just sort of got out of the habit of writing.  I got out of the habit of reading, too.  I can't really pinpoint why I stopped doing these things.  I found them pleasurable.  It's not like I disliked them.  I think it's similar to participating in sports when you're younger vs. when you're older in the sense that if you're not making a career out of it, adults tend to stop being so active.

I guess I could psychoanalyse myself all day here.  But I honestly think I'm probably just lazy like some sort middle aged former soccer player who now sits on the couch getting fat instead of kicking a ball around with friends.

Hello?

I'm sure no one reads this blog. I haven't even updated in almost a year.

It's funny... I went through one of the most intense, writing filled times of my life and this blog - about writing- captured none of it.

I wish I could say I've made progress. In actuality, I feel stalled. I look back at the writing I produced during the intensive course and I don't like it. I don't think it's good. I've been told that's a good thing... when you stop seeing your pieces as simply wonderful, it means you're learning what is good and what's not. It still sucks.

I had a chap book published. It was pretty cool.

I miss script writing. I've been doing a lot of long form narrative. I don't think it's my cup of tea.

I'm also contemplating a move to Saskatoon. Um. Okay?

School is still awesome.

I'm not dead. This is good.

Possibly, I may start posting again. We shall see.

2010

I'm heading into the New Year... dog sitting for my brother! I'm way past the PARTY stage. New Years is special to me, but not an excuse to party anymore. I'm happily spending my evening with my family (something I haven't done in YEARS) and wondering why I bothered going all out on New Years for years and years and years.

I'm heading into the New Year so fucking happy. I seriously could not have imagined how much my life could have changed over the last year. It's been an awful long time since I felt this good about my life and I just can't even describe how wonderful it is. I hope everyone is in just as good of a place tonight!

When I think about it though, although a lot HAS changed, I think it's my attitude that has changed the most.

Well, the cute puppy is demanding my attention... must run!

Another One

Cancer sucks ass.

Another one gone way too young.



The first time I heard his voice on this song, I was mesmerised.

Blame And Its Cousin, Responsibility

I hate many things about many things.

But there is little I hate more than people who can't take responsibility or shoulder blame.

If I eff up, I'm not someone to hide it.

For instance, my mother is constantly complaining about the mangers of her business. It's ridiculous. If she did her own damn job properly, she'd have nothing to complain about.

I also have a morbidly obese friend who constantly posts facebook updates that her knees hurt and that she has no clue why. IT DOESN'T TAKE ROCKET SCIENCE TO FIGURE THIS OUT!

Oh, and then there's the people who regularly drink like homeless winos and smoke like campfires and spend their nights partying and then complain that they don't feel good. Those people are the absolute bain of my existance. It's called common sense!

This seems to be an epidemic in our society. No one ever does anything wrong and yet we're all screwed up. We always blame other people or things or what-have-you. Anything but ourselves. And it drives me up the wall.

For Christ's sake, Humanity, grow some effing balls!

What I hate even more is my inability to call these people on their bull shit. It's the people pleaser in me.

Question...

I upgraded to FD8. Is there a way to convert my FD7 files? Every time I open one, it wants to resave the file in the newer format, which will create a whole bunch of duplicates.

So, is there a convert feature? A way to let them just stay FD7 version?

Things That Piss Me Off...

... at school.

These people make me want to strangle them! On my hit list? Well, those who:

- Sit in one of the three left handed desks but are right handed. You have no clue how much this pisses me off. You have a hundred other seats to choose from, and yet, you choose one of the THREE that I have to choose from! I believe there's a special place in hell for these people.

- Sit with friends and yack and watch youtube videos in the quiet study area of the library

- Talk on cell phones in the quiet study area.

- Use the tables meant for laptops (with plugs) when they do not have laptops. I'm sure these people are just slightly above the left-handed-desk-stealers in hell.

and my all time fav...

- Turn up their MP3 players super loud in the quiet study area. Just because you have headphones on doesn't mean the rest of us aren't being treated to your collection of 90's boybands.

That is all.