Shitty First Drafts

I read a great essay in one of my writing text books on not being afraid to write shitty first drafts. I would give you a title and author, but I'm lazy... so, here's the name of the text it was in:

Writing Fiction: A Guide to Narrative Craft

Now, I really think this is a great text. I highly recommend it.

And, I'd completely forgotten about it today as I was about to give up on one of my writing projects.

See, I get so little time to write these days that I want to invest my time wisely -- not spend it on shitty first drafts.

But, how many great writing projects do we all give up on because we're scared to write a shitty first draft? How quickly do you give up?

I thought of that essay before I gave up today, and I think I'm going to soldier on. It's retarded to think that everything of value that you write will be magnificent right off the hop. But yet, we all give up on our shitty stuff pretty fast.

Who knows... maybe the second draft will be a hell of a lot less shittier. The third might even be good. You might even find something you would have hated to have given up on amongst the pile of crap.

I understand that we're all picky and busy and egotistical, but sometimes, good things come out of investing time in a pile of manure.

Go forth and be proud of your shitty first drafts! :P

Let's Just Get It Out In The Open

So, I'm sure I'm not alone in this...

Here's the thing...

Most of the time, I have no clue what the hell I'm doing. I have no clue what the hell I should be doing.

I'm not sure what path to take or where I want to be, really.

When I think of my future, I kind of shrug, because really, what the hell do I know?

This troubled me for a long time. Now, I'm more or less resigned to it and the fact that it'll all sort itself out in the grand scheme of things.

I hate people who whine, but being as I don't know anything apparently, and I whine a lot about it, I have more.... compassion for chronic whiners. Because I am one.

I'm still uncertain about where I'll be in the fall. I've applied for a Millennium Scholarship using my Psychology plans... graduate school and the such.

I've also not dropped out of the film school in another province that's expecting me come fall just yet. I can't bring myself to do it.

As a compromise with myself, I've set up a meeting at the U of Dub to check out their film program. What draws me to it (because, hey, it's not renowned or anything. Seriously. It's not.) is the fact that they offer a whole BA program in creative writing. Now, I don't think I'll get a BA in creative writing, but that fact does open up a lot of course opportunities within film, or, even Psychology.

Well, if I could just psycho analyze myself, I wouldn't be in this mess! :P

The good news is that I have a great new job meaning that all of these options are open to me because, come fall, I won't have money worries. Which takes a lot of the tension out of my chest.

Question...

There's a hot security guard at the mall who looks like a teeny bit chunkier version of John from Stargate: Atlantis with the youth of Evan Lysacek. He's also from Australia which just adds to the hottness.

Here's my question...

How come it took a wierd doppleganger sighting for me to realize how damn hot this John dude is?

Ah, Hollywood... so much better looking than the rest of the world!

Calvin and Hobbes

I loved Calvin and Hobbes. I've read probably every strip. It's right up there with FBofW for me.

When it ended, I was actually melencholy about it! Seriously! I'd grown up with it and then it was just GONE!

I found this via a bunch of blogs (Sclazi, etc) and I'm not sure who to credit it to. I just thought it was beautiful. If anyone knows who drew this, please let me know and I'll credit them accordingly.

Here's a link to more of the same: http://gerrycanavan.blogspot.com/2009/03/grown-up-calvin-and-hobbes.html

I once dated a Calvin. Do you know the name actually means 'bald'? I thought he was lying until I looked it up in a baby book. I never did get him his very own Hobbes.

New Job

I haven't blogged lately.

Ooops.

I found a new job and I've been working both the new one and the old one until I can leave the old one. This has left me with very little time to do anything else.

Also, why are people so mean when you quit? I guess we all know the answer, but still, is it necessary?

Over the past few weeks, I've worked extremely hard at my old job to make sure that I leave on a good note. It's important to me because I know this person through someone else and will possibly have to see her. Most people would just go 'hey, I put in my two weeks, so now I really don't care and I'm going to slack!'. But I've been working really hard and she's still been really difficult to deal with. After a blow out today, I've realized that she just thinks I'm the spawn of satan -- or something equally as evil -- and I'm out to destroy her business and there's absolutely nothing I can do to change her mind.

Yes, today she pretty much accused me of being a horrible person. Yay.

Sometimes, life's too short, so that was the end of that.

I understand being angry at me for quitting, but really, am I the spawn of satan? No.

In other news, I love my new job. Love it. That makes things a bit better.

Maybe Katie

Your first look at BNL sans Steven Page:



I quite like it. I didn't know the bass player could sing. I think he actually sounds really good... but I'll reserve judgement until I hear him attempt 'What A Good Boy' or 'Brian Wilson' or 'Call and Answer'. It would be interesting to see them live and see how they handle missing their front man.

I still think Steven got the boot. At the very least, I think the claim that his drug arrest didn't affect the decision is complete BS.

But.

I could be wrong. When it comes down to it, really, what do I know?

EDIT:

Ed doing 'Old Apartment'



I think he sounds amazing. I may have to eat my words.

Blah Blah Blah...

It's my birthday tomorrow, and the reason that's of note (other than this being my blog and all... meaning anything I want can be of note) is because this is the first birthday I've ever felt trepidation about.

My boss told me today... 'Anon... no matter what, tomorrow will come, and you will be XX.'

Basically, it was 'just deal with it' sugar coated.

I'd like to say that I have no clue why this birthday bothers me. I really would. The fact is that I know exactly why this birthday is bothering me.

Why?

Well... where shall we start...

Oh! How about...

This isn't where my life was supposed to be...

or

Why don't I know what the hell I'm doing? Shouldn't I know by this point??

I moved to Winnipeg with the plan to just make it work. I've been wanting to move back here for a really long time and it just got to the point where I figured I might as well move and just... make it work. But. Things aren't working out like I had hoped and I'm frustrated and angry and bitter.

I worked really hard at my last job. I put in a lot of personal time and dedicated a lot of my energy to it only to be treated like absolute shit in the end. This irritates me because it taints all of the good memories that I have of those times and makes me feel less proud of my achievements. It makes me bitter and angry and wary of expending that amount of dedication and energy again. I know that sounds childish and silly, but it's how I feel.

So, all in all, this is a birthday filled with doubt and confusion... and maybe a bit of wallowing over the fact that I'm not where I want to be just yet.

I'm just... angry. Like a four year old or something. And I don't like it.