All By Myself...

I'm moving across the country by myself. I'll be driving across the country alone. This has me feeling a little... scared.

What if something happens?

To make the butterflies go away, I renewed my CAA membership and found a stopping place for the night. Simple planning seems to have gotten rid of some of the worries... but still...

Anyone else feel irrational fears like this?

I mean, I'm going to be fine. I'll drive carefully. I have CAA. My parents are only a phone call away. My friends are only a phone call away. If anything were to happen, I'd have help. If something really actually happened, someone would help me/come and get me.

I think I just need to focus on the greatness of being home instead of the worry about how I'm going to get there.

I've moved... half a dozen times (at least) in the past five years. I've got this down.

But still...

GAH!

My interview is reshed. to Tuesday. It seems as if me and the prof were both wandering to and from his office. I would go there, look around, realize he's not there, and leave just in time for him to get back, check to see if I was there and then leave. Oh, and as for the obvious, there was nowhere to wait by his office without looking like an absolute tool.

So, Tuesday.

Even thought this is mostly my fault for not just looking like a tool, I still hate waiting! I have very little patience!

Nervous

I have my departmental interview for film school in a couple hours. I'm actually not as nervous as I thought I would be. I hunted down a graduate on the internet and he told me exactly what to expect and that the prof is super nice, so I think that did a lot to cool my nerves.

Must get ready and actually put on matching socks now. TTYL.

M*A*S*H

When I was in high school, there was a year (grade 10? 11?) where I didn't have any school in the afternoons. Great, hey? The wonders of leaving the advanced stream and re-entering the S stream way ahead of my class.

Anyways...

I would take the bus home and make it in time to watch M*A*S*H on Prime. Two episodes back to back. During that semester, I watched all billion seasons.

I'm watching it now on the History Channel. Why isn't anything we have now as good as M*A*S*H? It's just so... great... and so many people my age haven't seen it! It's kind of weird to think that there're billions of people walking around who haven't seen an episode of M*A*S*H.

House

I love House, but I'm starting to get really frustrated with it... Because House Will. Not. Budge.

Sometimes, we think we see progress, but in reality, nothing really changes. There's only so long you can love an unlovable character.

There are other unlovable characters in television... but, usually, they're given at least SOME SORT OF HUMAN TRAIT!

House really is a selfish bastard. Everyone around him knows it, and yet they accept it. Wilson came back. Cuddy wants to date him! How is that possible? Is he like an addiction or something?

The only one treating the situation somewhat realistically is Chase.

I know that most people want to believe that all people are mostly good. But how much would you take? I can't believe that Wilson and Cuddy are still around!

So, I'm starting to hate House. It's become super unrealistic. His character is beyond not understandable... the characters around him are also beyond not understandable. It's gone beyond that curious wonder of something like NCIS or CSI.

I hate to write this because I'm such a huge House fan, but tonight's episode completely pushed me over the edge.

Back To Normal

I haven't been doing much script writing lately. I've been doing a lot of short stories, etc. for school. I actually think this whole narrative fiction foray was probably very useful. I've learned quite a bit... Such as what's important and what's not in story telling, how to write better dialogue, how to actually revise and rewrite properly.

So, basically, just brush ups on little stuff.

But, hey, I think I needed it.

I'm looking to start a new spec. I would love to try Dexter, but I've seen so many people have a tough time with it. I think I will probably try House. It's a show I watch every week... I'm a bit of a medical buff... I don't think it'll be cancelled this season... I've seen almost every episode... Basically, I would like to think that I know it well. Also, I'm really not sure what else to try. To be honest, I haven't had much time to watch TV and I get super uncomfortable spec-ing something I haven't seen quite a bit of. Why? I want my spec to be the best it can. Why waste my time on something I feel I won't hit spot on? I know some people can spec after a couple episodes, and while I probably could, I don't really want to.

Big Baby

Moving home is making me feel like a bit of a baby. (Yes, that's me over there.)

I really shouldn't feel all that bad. I mean, I'm really not that old. Infact, most of my friends still live at home.

But...

But. I moved out of my parents' house for school at about 18. I've lived in a different province than them since I was 19. So, not only do I feel a bit disheartened about turning into a big baby, but I'm a little worried about how this is going to work out... if we'll get along. I love both of my parents with all of my heart, but things haven't always been easy between us. My views and their views have clashed since, oh, about the time that I learned to speak. I know I was a tough kid. I would hope that as an adult, I'm a tad easier to deal with, but the truth is that sometimes I find myself wanting to run away from my parents. Is that horrible? To fly across the country for Christmas and count down the days till you go back home? Well, have whatever opinion you like about that revelation... but the fact is that my home and their home will now be the same place. There'll be nowhere else to go. So, I'm a tad nervous.

My little brother is actually quite excited. He's fourteen and the last time I lived at home, he was still in elementary school. Lots of his friends have no clue that he has an older sister. I think this situation will be good for me and both of my brothers. Sometimes I feel that we lack that sort of sibling bond that so many siblings seem to have.

So, am I turning into a big baby who's dashing home to a cushy environment just because she can?