Is This What We Call Irony? Maybe?

I had completely forgotten about this song... Self full filling prophecy anyone?

Well, he now carries cocaine in a pill bottle labeled 'calcium' and his girlfriend's roommate has to hold him down on the front lawn to stop him from drinking and driving. Go Steven!



I'm not necessarily anti-anything... I'm more anti-stupid. Instead of being a health nut, I'm just anti-arteriosclerosis (and if I spelled that right, I deserve a medal), I'm not anti-tanning, I'm anti-cancer (why don't you just bathe yourself in cancer! Oh, wait, you already have). I'm not necessarily an environmentalist, I'm just anti-let's-all-drown-into-the-ocean.

I'm not anti-drugs, I'm just pro-brain-power and anti-lets-fry-my-brain-and-make-myself-stupid.

Oh, and this is absolutely fucking hillarious.

Useful Blathering... Well, Depending on Your Perspective I Guess

I tend to blather a lot.

Whoops.

I've been tossing some ideas around in my head for the last little while. I have a couple I'd like to blog a bit about to try and sort out my thoughts a bit.

The first is actually an old idea. I wasn't really getting into the couple new projects I'd started, so I headed back to an old one. I believe I actually have a whole post somewhere on why I should never write a book, but I've started working on a novel-ish project that I started... oh my gosh... like three years ago. The story line had been floating through my head quite a bit lately and I figured 'why not'?

What I have done is switch up my writing process a bit to keep me from going too ADD. I've started to outline it pretty much exactly like I would a screenplay. I have no clue why, but the first time I attempted to write such a long narrative project, I thought it would be just fine to jump right in with nothing but a page of notes scribbled on loose leaf. Not one of my brighter moments. Hopefully, by keeping the process highly organized, it'll alleviate some of the ADD-ish-ness and stuff.

The other project I've been thinking about kind of centers around my job, so I can't say too much. What I can say is that I work in a bit of a... death sector?? If that makes any sense. I regularly deal with people who are dying or dead (well, then I guess I wouldn't actually be dealing with them) or grieving. I think I could probably take this somewhere interesting, but I'm unsure of the direction I'd like to take. I have a bit of a quirky story line I'd like to try, but I'm unsure if it's appropriate. I might try a bit more of a suspense/drama-ish story line.

I had a couple of projects started... a romantic screenplay and a narrative piece. Both seemed great in my head and on paper, but both have sort of stalled. As for the first, I just couldn't find my characters and I didn't feel connected. As for the second, it wasn't making me feel good to write it. The topic was just a little too fresh personally and instead of being cathartic, it just made me feel like shit.

I laughed my ass off watching a clip of Celeb Apprentice tonight. Someone sent me a link to Trace Atkins (sp??) buying nail polish for the BSB. They had the most ridiculous rider and Trace looked like he was going to kick their little asses. If I were ever famous, I'd have the most ridiculous rider just to make smoking gun. I swear. I'm not sure what I'd request... maybe I'd request entertainment. Jesters. Jugglers. Mimes. As for food... what's hard to find? Hmmm... Aloe Juice from Shopper's. Try to find that in Iowa! Old Dutch chips. Cloddhoppers. A latte flown in from South Africa. I don't even like coffee!

I hear that Celine Dion or someone has to have her freaking water at a certain temperature.

Can you imagine how delusional you'd be if you had an army of people on this earth with the sole purpose of catering to your every whim? My God.

I think this would be a good place to stick a youtube link...

I've been listening to this quite a bit. Funny how she's actually talented despite most of us only hearing about how much coke she snorts.

(And I could go into a whole rant about how stupid coke is, but I'll hold back. I mean, how retarded are people? Seriously.)

Random Blathering

I start school again in a couple weeks. I feel like bursting out into song. Seriously. I'm such a geek.

I'm at the Giant University -- otherwise known as the U of M -- this semester, so it should be interesting. The building where my psych class (that I've since dropped) was supposed to be held burned down in preparation for my arrival.

Someone from my previous job was in town this past week and I meant to see him, but I ran out of time. I feel bad about this, but at the same time, it would have been awkward. I've been very careful in my contact with people from my Horrible Job... I've only actually talked to two people there since I left... One I ran into in town before I left and I chat with on FB every now and then, and the other was one of my best friends at work and I kept in touch. The reason is this... I know that people probably took sides and I have no need to further taint my mental image of that job with the knowledge of who took who's side. Not only do I not want to find out about who didn't take my side, but I also don't want to lament about what happened with the people who did take my side because I'm seriously scared that I'll start to cry all over again and all of those feelings of betrayal and stupid childish anger will come back.

Yes, I'm melodramatic.

The person who treated me like shit was a friend, so, yeah, I do take it personally. When I think about what happened and how much and how often I was lied to, and how hard I worked to make this person's business a success story, I still feel like I was punched in the chest.

I wish I could dump the whole story here on the net. I really do. Because I think it would actually help me a whole lot to put the whole experience in writing. Cathartiscism and all that stuff. (And, yes, I just made that word up.)

I think the fact that I feel the need to explain myself to nameless people on the internet says a lot about the situation... although I'm not sure exactly what.

On the other hand, I'm a total hot yoga convert. Maybe this will lead me to Zen and the Art of Letting Go.

And one final note... this is totally not the post I sat down to write. Actually, I had something worthwile to say... but somehow, it morphed into the crap you see before your eyes.

Shitty First Drafts

I read a great essay in one of my writing text books on not being afraid to write shitty first drafts. I would give you a title and author, but I'm lazy... so, here's the name of the text it was in:

Writing Fiction: A Guide to Narrative Craft

Now, I really think this is a great text. I highly recommend it.

And, I'd completely forgotten about it today as I was about to give up on one of my writing projects.

See, I get so little time to write these days that I want to invest my time wisely -- not spend it on shitty first drafts.

But, how many great writing projects do we all give up on because we're scared to write a shitty first draft? How quickly do you give up?

I thought of that essay before I gave up today, and I think I'm going to soldier on. It's retarded to think that everything of value that you write will be magnificent right off the hop. But yet, we all give up on our shitty stuff pretty fast.

Who knows... maybe the second draft will be a hell of a lot less shittier. The third might even be good. You might even find something you would have hated to have given up on amongst the pile of crap.

I understand that we're all picky and busy and egotistical, but sometimes, good things come out of investing time in a pile of manure.

Go forth and be proud of your shitty first drafts! :P

Let's Just Get It Out In The Open

So, I'm sure I'm not alone in this...

Here's the thing...

Most of the time, I have no clue what the hell I'm doing. I have no clue what the hell I should be doing.

I'm not sure what path to take or where I want to be, really.

When I think of my future, I kind of shrug, because really, what the hell do I know?

This troubled me for a long time. Now, I'm more or less resigned to it and the fact that it'll all sort itself out in the grand scheme of things.

I hate people who whine, but being as I don't know anything apparently, and I whine a lot about it, I have more.... compassion for chronic whiners. Because I am one.

I'm still uncertain about where I'll be in the fall. I've applied for a Millennium Scholarship using my Psychology plans... graduate school and the such.

I've also not dropped out of the film school in another province that's expecting me come fall just yet. I can't bring myself to do it.

As a compromise with myself, I've set up a meeting at the U of Dub to check out their film program. What draws me to it (because, hey, it's not renowned or anything. Seriously. It's not.) is the fact that they offer a whole BA program in creative writing. Now, I don't think I'll get a BA in creative writing, but that fact does open up a lot of course opportunities within film, or, even Psychology.

Well, if I could just psycho analyze myself, I wouldn't be in this mess! :P

The good news is that I have a great new job meaning that all of these options are open to me because, come fall, I won't have money worries. Which takes a lot of the tension out of my chest.

Question...

There's a hot security guard at the mall who looks like a teeny bit chunkier version of John from Stargate: Atlantis with the youth of Evan Lysacek. He's also from Australia which just adds to the hottness.

Here's my question...

How come it took a wierd doppleganger sighting for me to realize how damn hot this John dude is?

Ah, Hollywood... so much better looking than the rest of the world!

Calvin and Hobbes

I loved Calvin and Hobbes. I've read probably every strip. It's right up there with FBofW for me.

When it ended, I was actually melencholy about it! Seriously! I'd grown up with it and then it was just GONE!

I found this via a bunch of blogs (Sclazi, etc) and I'm not sure who to credit it to. I just thought it was beautiful. If anyone knows who drew this, please let me know and I'll credit them accordingly.

Here's a link to more of the same: http://gerrycanavan.blogspot.com/2009/03/grown-up-calvin-and-hobbes.html

I once dated a Calvin. Do you know the name actually means 'bald'? I thought he was lying until I looked it up in a baby book. I never did get him his very own Hobbes.

New Job

I haven't blogged lately.

Ooops.

I found a new job and I've been working both the new one and the old one until I can leave the old one. This has left me with very little time to do anything else.

Also, why are people so mean when you quit? I guess we all know the answer, but still, is it necessary?

Over the past few weeks, I've worked extremely hard at my old job to make sure that I leave on a good note. It's important to me because I know this person through someone else and will possibly have to see her. Most people would just go 'hey, I put in my two weeks, so now I really don't care and I'm going to slack!'. But I've been working really hard and she's still been really difficult to deal with. After a blow out today, I've realized that she just thinks I'm the spawn of satan -- or something equally as evil -- and I'm out to destroy her business and there's absolutely nothing I can do to change her mind.

Yes, today she pretty much accused me of being a horrible person. Yay.

Sometimes, life's too short, so that was the end of that.

I understand being angry at me for quitting, but really, am I the spawn of satan? No.

In other news, I love my new job. Love it. That makes things a bit better.