Merry Christmas!

I hope everyone is having a great Christmas. I'm just hiding in my room right now... away from the loudness that is The Family Christmas Day Extravaganza! I just needed quiet for a bit, you know? It's been AHHHHHH!!!! all day!

This morning, my littlest brother slept till noon. On Christmas! We actually had to wake him up to open his presents because we were running out of time before the family came over *rolls eyes*.

This year, for me and my oldest brother, instead of buying us big presents, my parents told both of us that they were knocking off quite a huge sum of money from what we owe them. They helped both of us go to school and buy cars and we both still owe them a few thousand dollars. So, that was nice. As adults, it's better than anything they could have bought us. The youngest, however, got Rock Band 2.

What else... I got a ton of great books, some PJs, some money... work out clothes (nice ones so I don't have to look like a scrub at the gym :P)... a (gorgeous) new wallet...

It was a nice day, but I'm tired and seriously almost ready for bed. I love my family, but sometimes it just gets a little AHHHHH and drains me a bit. I probably sound like a huge baby :P I asked my cousins if any of them would like to go see a movie or something, but they seem to be having fun in the crazyness.

I hope everyone had a great holiday!

~Anon

Jobs

Finding a good job in Winnipeg is like winning the lottery. Well, maybe not quite. I moved here from Alberta, the magical land of more jobs than people, and I'm a bit stunned by the whole process. You mean you aren't going to hire me right now because you're desperate? You mean you actually have other people to interview? I might get called back for a second interview? What is this weird 'hiring process' that you speak of?

Yes, I was spoiled. Yes, I'm over it.

Still.

Other than that, I'm really enjoying Winnipeg. It's freakin' cold, but I understand it's like that pretty much everywhere right now, so whatever. Besides, I expect -40 in Winnipeg. It doesn't really bother me.

I'm still debating the whole 'life choices' thing... But no matter what I decide, I'll continue to write. That's the important thing, right?

Life Stuff

Warning: This post might be a bit 'Spoiled Princess'.

I want nice things.

I'm not greedy, but one day, I'd like to own a house... and a car that's not on its last legs... several pairs of shoes that I don't really need... a collection of purses... have season tickets for the Bombers.

Basically, one day, I'd like to not worry. I want to feel secure and safe. I want to get married and have kids. I want to enjoy life.

This is why I've seriously been considering not going to film school.

Just writing that makes me want to throw up because going to film school is all I've ever wanted. Working in the industry is all I've ever wanted.

But this pesky thing called 'life' has me seriously considering quickly wrapping up my English degree and then either A) doing the post degree program to become an English teacher or B) doing the MA program at the U of W.

I've found several dream jobs over the last week and a bit and the interesting thing is that they're all geared towards different dreams. I'm still so undecided.

I feel like I'm at a major crossroads in my life and that I really need to start making some decisions. The fact that I feel that way just compounds the situation because I know how important these decisions are. This is my second crack at things. It's important to do the right thing. All of this really doesn't make the decision easy to make.

I worry all the time that the world is passing me by... My friends are all getting married and/or having babies... getting set in careers... and although in many ways I'm maybe more grown up than they are, I still end up feeling like a child compared to everyone else (ie: the people who've got 'it' figured out).

I worry that I'll never settle down and have a family. I worry that I won't be ready for the right person. I worry that I'll spend my whole life striving to be something while everything else just rushes by and suddenly I'll be sixty with nothing to show for it.

Basically, I'm starting to think about that other side of life and how it's important, too. Yes, I want a career that makes me happy. But I want all of those other things as well and sometimes compromises have to be made.

I guess it comes down to what's really important to me.

I Think I Can... I Think I Can...

I just watched last week's Stargate: Atlantis.

I'm glad that in the last season, they're bringing the McKay character around. Why? Well, because the character is just so... cute! Not cute as in, like, Orlando Bloom. But more cute like... that kids story about that train that chugs up the mountain. I think McKay is like that socially. You look at him and you know he doesn't really want to be alone and that he has the capacity to be a great person and you just want him to succeed. He's already succeeded professionally, but socially... he's always struggled. The writers have always done a good job at keeping him abrasive and selfish and what have you while still giving him human qualities and showing that side of him that wants to be 'normal' through episodes like the ones with Jeannie and this season's 'McKay Looses His Mind' episode and this week's 'Rodney Falls In Love' episode. I look at the McKay character and it really is master crafted.

This week, McKay finally got it on. It took almost five whole seasons, but he's come a looooonnnnggg way.

I really like the pairing of McKay and Keller. I think that despite her initial fear of her new position on Atlantis, she's very strong and a good match for Rodney because she calls him on his shit. And instead of being almost childlike in his want to please her, Rodney is an adult around her and he wants her to be happy, not to just think he's normal and like him... if that makes sense.

I love McKay... in the last couple years, he's become one of my favorite characters on TV and I'll be sad to see him ride off into the sunset in a couple episodes.

Move To Winnipeg? Why?

So, why did I pack everything I own into the back of my car and drive across the country to Winnipeg?

Basically, something had to give. I was stressed out and miserable. And that's never good. Yes, there are certain things in life that I want, but I'm not willing to be miserable to get them. I'm one of those people who believes that being miserable isn't a phase we all must go through. Plus, I'm a usually a pretty happy person and I couldn't stand myself. Seriously.

Radio left a bad taste in my mouth... but after only a few weeks away, it's starting to fade. I really was pretty sure that I wouldn't look for another radio job in Winnipeg. But, I miss it. So, I'm looking for another radio job. It really is something that I love and no matter how many times it kicks my ass, it's still where I want to be.

I guess it's like those Osmond's like to say... 'One bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch, girl'.

That was really cheesy. Sorry.

If anyone actually reads this blog and they have some sort of info on leads to jobs in the Winnipeg media industry, information would be greatly appreciated.

Winnipeg and Other Stuff

When I left my former place of residence, it was 8 degrees. I woke up my first morning back in Winnipeg to a snow storm and -30.

That aside, I'm happy to be back. I'll be even happier when The Perfect Job makes its way out of the woodwork :P

I read Joseph Mallozzi's blog a couple times a week... Stargate: Atlantis is my secret guilty pleasure! I haven't watched much this season... but, still.

Anyway, here's an interesting question from his blog:

Megan writes: “Quick question for you concerning SGA: According to MGM, the decision to cancel the series was not in their hands; they would have approved a sixth season. SciFi wanted a sixth season as well. You’ve stated you wanted to continue with Atlantis as did the actors. So, who made the final call to cancel SGA when all parties wanted to go on?”

Answer: Great, great question.

So, who cancelled Stargate: Atlantis? I think there's only one party not mentioned in the above question. A party who has another Stargate show about to launch. I really respect said party and I think they/he/she/it have/has done a great job with the franchise, but concluding that this party decided that another season of Atlantis was a no go makes me a little sad.

To The Left...

I think it's pretty clear that I'm all for a left gov't and uniting the left here in Canada. To be completely honest, the only reason the Conservatives are in power here is because the left is so fractured.

So, yes, I'm all for uniting for a left gov't.

But...

Is this really how we want it to happen? I can't help but feel that democracy was invented to prevent this sort of thing!

Non confidence votes are fine... as long as they lead to an election. We should get to vote on this 'deal' that Dion made with Layton et al. We should get to vote on if we want Stephan Dion as our Prime Minister! Because, let me tell you, I'm not so sure about that!

Well, I guess we have until January to debate this whole thing among ourselves!

Thoughts?

House/NCIS

I enjoyed House this week. I loved the ending with the whole website scam. I seriously hadn't even thought of the ending... although we probably all should have :P

I thought House was pretty cruel to Cuddy though... But I guess we shouldn't expect any less.

As for NCIS...

Did anyone else notice Michael Weatherly's bald spot? Was I just seeing things? Or, have I missed it before?

On to more important topics... I really enjoyed NCIS as well. The story line was complicated but not TOO complicated (the kind of complicated where it ends and you have no clue how everything wrapped up). I really liked Ziva, but I was dissappointed that she didn't go to the movie with Tony. I'm glad to see that she's loosening up a bit though.

From The Weird Dream Catagory...

This is sort of writing related I guess. If you squint enough.

I had a dream last night that I was getting ready for a dance performance and then, all of the sudden, I was making a movie with Brad Pitt. I'm not even one of those girls who had a crush on him! He's barely on my radar! In fact, I'd go so far as to say that I probably wouldn't recognize him on the street.

It was odd.

The end.

So I'm A Baby...

Yes, I'm a baby. My brother is going to drive to Winnipeg with me for no other reason than I'm a big huge baby.

But hey, that's what brothers are for. Right?

Right?

All By Myself...

I'm moving across the country by myself. I'll be driving across the country alone. This has me feeling a little... scared.

What if something happens?

To make the butterflies go away, I renewed my CAA membership and found a stopping place for the night. Simple planning seems to have gotten rid of some of the worries... but still...

Anyone else feel irrational fears like this?

I mean, I'm going to be fine. I'll drive carefully. I have CAA. My parents are only a phone call away. My friends are only a phone call away. If anything were to happen, I'd have help. If something really actually happened, someone would help me/come and get me.

I think I just need to focus on the greatness of being home instead of the worry about how I'm going to get there.

I've moved... half a dozen times (at least) in the past five years. I've got this down.

But still...

GAH!

My interview is reshed. to Tuesday. It seems as if me and the prof were both wandering to and from his office. I would go there, look around, realize he's not there, and leave just in time for him to get back, check to see if I was there and then leave. Oh, and as for the obvious, there was nowhere to wait by his office without looking like an absolute tool.

So, Tuesday.

Even thought this is mostly my fault for not just looking like a tool, I still hate waiting! I have very little patience!

Nervous

I have my departmental interview for film school in a couple hours. I'm actually not as nervous as I thought I would be. I hunted down a graduate on the internet and he told me exactly what to expect and that the prof is super nice, so I think that did a lot to cool my nerves.

Must get ready and actually put on matching socks now. TTYL.

M*A*S*H

When I was in high school, there was a year (grade 10? 11?) where I didn't have any school in the afternoons. Great, hey? The wonders of leaving the advanced stream and re-entering the S stream way ahead of my class.

Anyways...

I would take the bus home and make it in time to watch M*A*S*H on Prime. Two episodes back to back. During that semester, I watched all billion seasons.

I'm watching it now on the History Channel. Why isn't anything we have now as good as M*A*S*H? It's just so... great... and so many people my age haven't seen it! It's kind of weird to think that there're billions of people walking around who haven't seen an episode of M*A*S*H.

House

I love House, but I'm starting to get really frustrated with it... Because House Will. Not. Budge.

Sometimes, we think we see progress, but in reality, nothing really changes. There's only so long you can love an unlovable character.

There are other unlovable characters in television... but, usually, they're given at least SOME SORT OF HUMAN TRAIT!

House really is a selfish bastard. Everyone around him knows it, and yet they accept it. Wilson came back. Cuddy wants to date him! How is that possible? Is he like an addiction or something?

The only one treating the situation somewhat realistically is Chase.

I know that most people want to believe that all people are mostly good. But how much would you take? I can't believe that Wilson and Cuddy are still around!

So, I'm starting to hate House. It's become super unrealistic. His character is beyond not understandable... the characters around him are also beyond not understandable. It's gone beyond that curious wonder of something like NCIS or CSI.

I hate to write this because I'm such a huge House fan, but tonight's episode completely pushed me over the edge.

Back To Normal

I haven't been doing much script writing lately. I've been doing a lot of short stories, etc. for school. I actually think this whole narrative fiction foray was probably very useful. I've learned quite a bit... Such as what's important and what's not in story telling, how to write better dialogue, how to actually revise and rewrite properly.

So, basically, just brush ups on little stuff.

But, hey, I think I needed it.

I'm looking to start a new spec. I would love to try Dexter, but I've seen so many people have a tough time with it. I think I will probably try House. It's a show I watch every week... I'm a bit of a medical buff... I don't think it'll be cancelled this season... I've seen almost every episode... Basically, I would like to think that I know it well. Also, I'm really not sure what else to try. To be honest, I haven't had much time to watch TV and I get super uncomfortable spec-ing something I haven't seen quite a bit of. Why? I want my spec to be the best it can. Why waste my time on something I feel I won't hit spot on? I know some people can spec after a couple episodes, and while I probably could, I don't really want to.

Big Baby

Moving home is making me feel like a bit of a baby. (Yes, that's me over there.)

I really shouldn't feel all that bad. I mean, I'm really not that old. Infact, most of my friends still live at home.

But...

But. I moved out of my parents' house for school at about 18. I've lived in a different province than them since I was 19. So, not only do I feel a bit disheartened about turning into a big baby, but I'm a little worried about how this is going to work out... if we'll get along. I love both of my parents with all of my heart, but things haven't always been easy between us. My views and their views have clashed since, oh, about the time that I learned to speak. I know I was a tough kid. I would hope that as an adult, I'm a tad easier to deal with, but the truth is that sometimes I find myself wanting to run away from my parents. Is that horrible? To fly across the country for Christmas and count down the days till you go back home? Well, have whatever opinion you like about that revelation... but the fact is that my home and their home will now be the same place. There'll be nowhere else to go. So, I'm a tad nervous.

My little brother is actually quite excited. He's fourteen and the last time I lived at home, he was still in elementary school. Lots of his friends have no clue that he has an older sister. I think this situation will be good for me and both of my brothers. Sometimes I feel that we lack that sort of sibling bond that so many siblings seem to have.

So, am I turning into a big baby who's dashing home to a cushy environment just because she can?

Work

Gah!

Is it really that hard to find 'the perfect job'?

Well, when I see it written like that, maybe I can understand why I'm a little frustrated.

I can afford to be a little picky, so, well, I'm being a little picky.

Still, the job market is so frustrating! There are lots of partial matches to what I want, but not many great matches. I'm moving to Winnipeg from one of those magical places where jobs grow on trees, so I'm a little shocked at how hard this whole job thing is for the rest of the country!

I'm glad that I can afford to be picky. I can't imagine what it's like for people who can't. I guess that's how you become a professional working at 7-11. But who knows... that might still be me in a couple months :P

Best Thing Ever

Apparently, Carrie Fisher has a biography. You can read some excerpts HERE. It's almost surreal... you're reading it and you want to laugh and then you remember that it's actually someone's LIFE!

I'm looking forward to checking out the whole shebang. The link is certainly worth ten minutes of your time.

Jobs

My first instinct was to find an advertising sales job in Winnipeg and make some pretty good coin. I'm qualified to do it, I know what I'm selling, and I'm a pretty good sales person.

Well, money aside, I'm moving to a city with a huge arts scene. I've been looking around in that industry as well... what I'm finding is that A) these jobs don't pay as well as sales (obviously) and B) not many people are hiring. I'm thinking that once I'm home, it'll be a lot easier to find something but the money issue is still holding me back.

It should be a no brainer. I should go for an arts job. But I also want to head to school set financially. I worked full time through college and that's not something I want to do again.

On another note, I've been watching American Dad a lot lately. I'm currently watching the one with Patrick Stewart and his Asian mistress! It's funnier than I thought it would be, but not quite at the Family Guy level.

Also, I finally saw Knocked Up today. It was pretty funny and really sweet. I really enjoyed it... but I thought it'd be a tad funnier.

I'm almost packed to move. I have seven (SEVEN!) bags of clothes to drop off at Good Will and another box of misc. stuff that I don't need. I also have a box of books that I need to put on the bus because they're not going to fit in my car. I'm thinking that I could be leaving as soon as Thursday... but it could be as late as the 12th. I'm trying to sort things out with school. The exam sched is all fucked up and one of my exams is a lot later than it's supposed to be. Most people would rejoice at that, but I need to get out of here. I'm trying to convince my prof to either let me write the exam earlier, or to let me write it at the U of M or the library in Winnipeg. It would be easier for him to just let me write it in Winnipeg (because he wouldn't have to have it ready early), but for some reason, he's super hesitant. I really don't understand why. I'm an A student. I go to every class. I would understand him being retarded if I was failing and never went to class... but I've worked hard. Help me out a bit, you know? Anyways, I'm thinking that he might make me stay around to write it a couple days early or give me no choice but to stay and write it with the class. It's retarded. It's a multiple choice exam. There's no reason that I have to write it in my fucking class... other than him being a major bee-otch.

Rolling On Down The Highway

So I'm moving across the country in a couple weeks. I'll be driving... I'm trying to get everything organized now so that I don't have to worry about too much in the next little while.

In just going through my bedroom, I got rid of:

~Four garbage bags full of clothes
~Three garbage bags full of garbage (Old electorics, papers, misc. junk)

That's a lot of stuff. It's crazy how much crap we all have!

All That She Wrote... Or Is It?

As soon as word got out that I'd left my job, I got two phone calls of interest.

Now, if either of them turn into serious offers remains to be seen. If they do, I don't think I'll accept either of them. I unplugged myself from this industry for a reason...

But it is hard to fully unplug. It's like the industry just keeps sucking you in.

Also, it's hard to leave because I'm at that point where I don't really have to look for work... I have enough connections to get what I want. That took a heck of a long time to build up and it'll probably take even longer once I'm out of school. That security is hard to leave.

My generation is supposed to switch careers something like four times... but oddly enough, I didn't ever really think that I would be switching careers. Especially not this young.

It's the right decision. I know it is. But it's a heck of a lot harder than I'd expected.

I Give Up

I hate that phrase and I always said it would never be associated with me.

Radio is a very young intudustrry. Why? Because people rarely retire from radio. They move on when they realize that it's difficult and pays crappy and isn't worth it. Most people move on when they decide to have families. Me? I'm moving on for school.

I never wanted to be the stereotype. I wanted to make this work.

That aside, I'm moving home. For the next little while, I'll be in Winnipeg, living with friends or, even, with my parents (I know!!! Yuck!!!) saving money to go to school in the fall full time. Then I'll be moving again to go to school.

I hate that I've done this because it's what everyone does and yet, I'm super relieved at the same time. It's like a ton of bricks off my chest.

David Thewlis

I totally forgot about this but I saw David Thewlis on 'The Hour' last week. I'm always amazed when I see him out of his 'Lupin' role. Lupin is, well, fat and ugly. David is not. How is that possible?

Remus is actually my fav Harry Potter character, so I may have squeeeeeeeed just a little when I saw him. It was odd though. He was sooooo skinny!

I'm pretty much a crazy Harry Potter fan. Well, borderline I guess. You know, crazy but without the fanfiction or obsessive internet communities. I did get book seven at midnight but that's where I draw the line.

Anyway, his interview was refreshing because he's so honest. He actually gave an answer to the 'which project do you wish you'd never done?' question. For the record, it was Basic Instinct 2.

SNL

Why don't I watch SNL?

This freaking CRACKED ME UP! Justin Timberlake in a leotard and heels, people. That's all you need to know! How the hell is he such a horrible actor in, well, movies, but so damn hilarious every time he's on SNL???

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/k5BSf7RLucUHHaQiGT

Running

Why am I running so much?

Well.

Here you go.

One of my friends is getting married in June. One of my good friends from high school. She's marrying her high school sweetheart, another good friend on mine.

What does this mean?

The wedding is going to be one big highschool reunion. I was pretty shy in high school and I had a couple of crushes that I never really... explored.

Now this doesn't mean that I want to explore them now. No. It means that despite the fact that these boys were perfectly nice to me and probably had no clue that I 'hearted' them, I want to look amazing anyway.

So, yes, I have no plans to 'heart' them now, and they didn't know that I 'hearted' them then, but I still want to make them stare.

This all seems very petty and retarded when put down in words, but I'm thinking that most girls would understand. We're just... girls. It doesn't matter that you didn't know or that high school was six years ago.

And this whole post makes me super glad that this blog is anonymous because this is totally one of those things that I wouldn't admit to if you knew my name.

GRRRR!!!

I did a series of steep hills for my run this morning. I hadn't done this route before, and as I was going DOWN the first hill, I thought, gee, this is really steep. And long. I'm going to have to go UP this on the way home.

But, off I went, up and down hills for about 45 minutes. Then I hit the mountain I'd decended on at the start of my run. I was already ready to call it quits after so many hills. I could see it looming through the morning fog. I set my jaw and told myself I was going to do it. I pushed myself with single minded competitiveness until I had to stop. Had to. It was awful. AWFUL! I thought I was going to have to sit down on the side of the road and take a break because just walking seemed a little too much. That wasn't a hill! It was an Alpine or something! I managed to walk the rest of the way up and not embarass myself in front of the people leaving church, and as I walked home, I came to the conclusion that pushing to the point of jello legs up a long steep hill might not be the best idea. I will take a bit more time next time... pace myself better leading up to it... and maybe not try to give myself a heart attack on the way up! Really though, I think I just didn't realize how hard it was going to be and not only did I completely wear myself out before hand, but I tried to take it a bit too quickly.

Eventually, I shall conquer my neighborhood Everest!

Bond. James Bond.

I'm not a huge James Bond fan, so I don't have much to compare it to, but I thought the new movie was good. Some of my friends said it 'wasn't their favorite', but no one hated it.

Here's a few things that I really loved...

~It wasn't TOO LONG! Now-a-days (just typing that makes me feel old), many of these types of movies (basically anything that isn't a romcom and sometimes even those) are soooo long! This was just perfect. Not too short. Not too long. People always say 'well, I didn't really mind that LOTR was a billion hours long', but the new Bond made me realize that maybe we're all wrong. Could less really be more? Maybe we just swallow things like LOTR because we're given no other choice. Movies aren't meant to make your butt go numb!

~Bond is a total man whore and proud of it. There was one scene where it was soooo bad and I think he may have been laughing at himself just a little.

~There was a little Canadian dig at the end (Paul Haggis wrote the script). It ends with the Canadian chick going 'thank you' in such a totally stereotypical Canadian way that the whole theatre snickered. Not sure if anyone outside of Canada will get the joke... but it was funny.

~Naked Daniel Craig. 'Nuff said. Not as much as the last movie, though.

~Less SEX than the last movie. This is an action movie! And, no, not THAT sort of action.

~Very little dialogue. Because it's an ACTION MOVIE! I think the chick had all of three lines. Although, there were times when a simple 'he killed my father' would have done instead of a monalogue. So, I guess this 'love' is a little hit and miss.

~The Americans were somewhat evil. Don't get me wrong, I don't think Americans are evil, I just thought it was an interesting spin.

~Did I mention the hotness that is Daniel Craig yet? Yes? Okay. Just wanted to make sure. Although, when he talks, watch his face. It DOES NOT MOVE!

Overall, I enjoyed the movie. Worth the price of admission... Well, I think it is. I got in for free, so I can't really vouch for that. So, I guess I could say that it's worth 'free' with confidence. Although I'm quite sure parting with $5-$10 will be worth it for most people.

Happy weekend!

~Anon

When You Suck

Last time I handed in a short story to be worshopped, I was nervous. This time, I wasn't. See, last time, I really liked my story and I wanted others to like it, too, and I was nervous that they wouldn't and I would be a failure and... well, you get the point.

This time, not so nervous. The reason why? I hate what I handed in. If people hate it, well then, we're in agreement.

I think I should feel ashamed or... something?? Sorry for the people who have to read it? But the bottom line is that I really did try hard and it just didn't work. It happens. Yes, I should have scrapped it in time to write something different, but I didn't. So that's it. Nothing I can do.

I know I must sound a little non chalant (and how do you spell that anyway?), but I just have to be, you know? Otherwise I'll just get really upset. Yes, I want my writing to be great. Yes, it pisses me off when I fall short of what I know I'm capable of. But it's not the end of the world. I think of it like having a bad run or a bad skating practice. The next one will be better. As long as I tried my hardest and did my best and put in an effort, well, that's good enough for me. And you know what? I bet I'll get some great notes and some great pointers that'll help me make sure I don't get stuck like this again. It's probably a good lesson to learn.

Still... After all of that positive self talk... it still sucks when you suck.

??

So...

What am I supposed to call my piece of shit? My prof's pet peeve is unnamed stories... so it needs a name.

I got nothing.

These little things! They kill me!

Holy Crap!

I've always worked in industries that were heavily Christmas CRAZY. In fact, my Mom owns a 'Christmas' business, so I've been heavily worked to death during the Christmas season since, well, ever. But somehow, I have managed to hang onto my love of Christmas.

This is crazy:



There are others from the same guy if you click on the 'more from' tab. They're all NUTS! I can't imagine the work that goes into all of that!

Also, you can visit http://holdman.com for more videos and also a bit of a 'backstage tour' into how everything works.

I love Christmas!

I Hate You!

For the first time in a long time, I've managed to produce a piece of writing that I just hate. Hate it.

I spent way too long trying to make myself like it when I just should have started over and now, well, I don't have time to start over, so I'm going to spend even more time trying to make it likeable when, really, I hate its guts.

GAH!

LA LA LA LA...

I can't hear anything. I have ear plugs in and it's quite weird... no typing noises. No nothing.

Still, ear plugs are, I think, one of the better investments I've made lately. I have a retardedly loud person living in the basement suite below me. I'll take creepily quiet over guitar hero any day.

I'm trying to finish up my short story for my creative writing class sometime today. I'm not sure if I'm even going to use it. I may start over. I proclaimed to the whole class that after writing a story about a serial killer, I was going to write a romance to make up for it. The story seems a little cheesy. I like the concept... It's about a couple (duh) and the guy does something insanely stupid without thinking and, well, the girl holds something that he wants desperately by the balls and after his stupidness, she's not very inclined to give him that thing. It's only after everything is done and over and the 'thing' has passed that she finally realizes what hurting him cost her because this 'thing' was important to her, too, and it's not something she'll ever be able to get back.

I'm guessing that -- up to a point -- romance is supposed to be cheesy. Just not quite as cheesy as my romance is. I'm not sure how to fix it. Although I can be a sap, I tend to walk a bit of a fine line on what I think is sappy or just stupid when I'm reading/watching something. Maybe I'm just overreacting because I laughed during 'A Walk To Remember'. Who knows. I shall tinker some more and make a decision on what to do.

BWAHAHAHA!!

Curve successfully ANIHILATED! Sorry classmates. Better luck next time. Or better luck landing in a class that has more than a dozen students so that one jackass can't study for, oh, EVER and kill your grade.

Sometimes I think that I might really enjoy going to graduate school for psychology. I really do enjoy it. I'm good at it. And I'd love to put my whole family in therapy :P

We just finished taking psych disorders, diagnosis and treatment. I found it insanely interesting. In a situation that pretty much spells out how retardedly all over the place I am, as I was studying for my psych exam, a wack of film students dove into the booth next to me with a couple of pizzas to discuss their upcoming short shoot. It was oddly... appropriate.

Have I mentioned that I absolutely can't spell? Why doesn't explorer spell check for you like Mozzilla?

Yes and No

While Prop 8 is still pending, I think many people have forgotten some of the other ballot issues in other states.

It's sad to note that Arizona has banned gay mariage and Florida looks like it's going to as well. Arkansas has banned gay couples from adopting children.

It's an historic day in the US and after coming down from the Obama high, the negative aspects are making my heart a little heavy.

So many couples are going to stay awake in California waiting for those results while wondering if their mariage is going to be revoked by people who don't even know them. And there's a good chance that they'll crawl into bed tonight knowing that when they wake up in the morning, their worlds will change because their state has voted to discriminate against them. That should not happen anywhere, never mind here in North America. I can only hope that the early results are not indicitive of the end result.

In Arizona, there are couples who will go to bed tonight knowing that as long as they choose to stay in Arizona, they will not have the rights given freely to their fellow citizens -- that their constitution now prohibits it because of who they choose to spend their lives with... raise their families with.

Are we really this hurtful? Are we really this judgmental? Prejudice? Narrow minded?

I would love to rant on this topic and how we're all people. But, I'd be wasting my breath. The people who agree with me don't need to hear it all again and the people who disagree won't be swayed by my ranting.

Holy Crap!

Checked CNN and Obama was still at 207... thought I had some time so I went for a jog... came back and found out that Barack had vaulted to 297 America had voted for change.

To any Americans that read this blog... congrats on taking a HUGE step towards being viewed a lot more positively out in the rest of the world.

The first black President of the United States. Something's caught in my eyes. Both of them. Must be dust.

Various

~ On the way home tonight, I saw a semi truck in my rear view mirror that looked so much like a transformer that I did a double take.

~ I may cry a bit if Obama wins tonight. Not bad tears, though.

~ On the other hand, if McCain wins, I'll be looking into what it'll take to get a Swiss passport. As Canadians, this election DOES effect us. Really. It is important to us. To see what the rest of the world thinks, visit http://www.iftheworldcouldvote.com/.

~ After saying that, yes, the election is important, I'm still upset about the lack of NCIS and House tonight.

~ I'm currently studying like mad for an exam. There's 12 people in the class, so... my goal is to DESTROY THE CURVE!!! BWAHAHAHA!!! I'm super competitive with everything I do. School is no different. Exams are practically sporting events to me. I might be the nicest person in class... Sharing notes, answering questions, asking the questions you don't want to ask the prof... but come exam time, it's my goal to ANNIHILATE YOU!

Mythbusters 2

AHHH!!! MacGyver special!!! Apprently, it's a Mythbusters marathon. This does not bode well for my reading.

Aaannnyyywaaaayyyy... I once watched all seven seasons of MacGyver in a couple months when I was living in the middle of nowhere. It wasn't quite as cool as it must have looked in the 80's, but it was okay. And funny. His mullet made the show. And the clothes! Anyways, I thought it was pretty good... until he started saving the rhinos and whales around season 4.

BUT... my point is that I saw somewhere that they purposefully made the science stuff pretty undoable so that people COULDN'T do it at home. So, I'm predicting a lot of 'busted' results. But who knows... maybe I'm wrong.

Oh... and I LOVE the couple days after halloween. Why? I just got 50 Hershey bars for $3.42. I shall try to pace myself :P

Mythbusters

Watching the baseball episode. They're testing sliding. Is it faster to slide or run. Is it better to stay standing?

Now, here's my issue... and maybe I'm just retarded... but I played ball for... ten years and in all of my sliding experience, I've always thought that the reason for sliding isn't speed, it's to get down and try not to get tagged. It's to try and get your hand or foot on the bag before the infielder can catch the ball and get her glove down to tag you. It's to try and sneak a body part in there before you're tagged. It's not about getting their faster.

Right?

Wrong?

AHHH!

I'm pretty much going nuts reading my psych text and trying to get it all down in time for an exam.

I have no clue why, but I always leave my psych reading until the last minute. I don't do this for other subjects. And, hey, I actually find psych interesting. So, why do I procrastinate?

School

A lot of people in my life have been questioning my choice to dive back into school full time. Most say that my previous education is sufficient for what I want to do. I might actually agree with that.

Here's the thing... They may be right... but if I'm not confident in my schooling, then it doesn't really matter that they're right. Going to school is something I'm doing for me. I'm pretty sure that my future employers really don't care where I went to school. I'm going for me. I want to have some fun and learn some more stuff. I want to meet great people and instructors. I'm not even there yet and I already feel like I've networked with so many people. I'm out of the loop in my current job and I need to refocus.

Does that make sense? Or am I on crack?

Confidence

I just got my story workshopped for my creative writing class. It went very well. As soon as the prof moved onto my story, I got a chorus of 'Great! I really liked that one' and stuff. In the workshop, basically, I got a whole bunch of 'I liked it because...' I had readied my thick skin for the workshop because people were being quite blunt with the other writers, but no one ripped me apart. There was one person who really didn't get it, but when I freaked out about it in office hours, my prof was quick to assure me that it was good and that you can't please every body. She said that she really liked my work and that I was doing a lot of great things. She also said that it took her two or three reads to find something to suggest for revision because my story was so focused and well written. My teacher read it all the way through without stopping to scribble on the page. Wow.

I know I'm bragging and I'm sorry... But I just really needed that, you know? I was at a point in my writing where I really needed someone to see some talent in me.

Now, after all of that good stuff, I did get some good notes for a revision and I'm going to revise it and use the revision as part of my portfolio for film school.

I'm just over the moon. It's funny how one good thing can totally put me back on track and make me feel like I'm making right choices in the direction I'm steering my life.

I did also write a short film... It's really dark. Really Dark. My writing seems to be stuck there lately. The short story I just workshopped is a serial killer murder mystery and my short is about a really wacko family with an abusive Dad. I think I need to write about butterflies and sunshine for a while :P

Hope your writing has gone equally well.

~Anon

TSN Goof

The BC/TO game is currently blacked out. I phoned StarChoice and they told me that it's a TSN issue and that it's BLACKED OUT ACROSS THE COUNTRY!!!!

I wouldn't want to be a TSN sales rep right now... I can't imagine how much moolah they're loosing right now... Nor would I want to explain to GM or Wendy's or what have you that the commercials they paid an arm and a leg for were blacked out.

That's honestly the first thing I thought (after being pissed off). I guess that's the broadcaster in me.

Neat Info

Wil Wheaton's 'Criminal Minds' ep just aired, so he's posting some on set observations and stuff. It's pretty interesting.

I always find those behind the scenes stories super interesting and I'm a huge fan of Wil's writing, so it's a double shot for me. Worth it to check it out just for the info, though.

Skate America is supposed to be on the CBC... but it's not... me thinks that they've relegated it to stupid 'Country Canada'. Assholes.

Just Quickly...

... is it just me or did you really think that Cuddy was pregnant at first on House last night? When I saw her with the crib, my first thought was 'oh, that explains why her clothes have looked ready to bust open ALL SEASON!'

I think Lisa Edelstien is gorgeous and in no way is she fat or overweight. So, don't take this the wrong way... but someone needs to put that poor woman in a size bigger! Her buttons have been bursting at the seams ALL SEASON!

EDIT: Whoops... apparently, I think NCIS and House are the same show.

Simple Things

I'm going to use a skating referece here, but hang on... it leads to some writing stuff.

Some of my favorite moves in skating are quite simple in the grand scheme of people jumping in the air and spinning four times before landing on one edge of a thin blade.

Some of my favs? Kurt Browning's change of edge in his camel spin. He does it all the time. He starts the spin on a back inside edge, and after a few rotations, he flips over onto a forward outside edge. It's probably my all time favorite move and it's pretty simple. Another favorite? Paul Wylie's spread eagle. How about Michelle Kwan's spiral?

What makes these simple moves so amazing is that the people do them don't look at them as simple. They put every ounce of energy into making sure that simple element is the best that it can be. That's why a simple change of edge in Kurt Browning's camel spin catches my eye every time.

I think it's the same with writing. Sometimes we just wiz through the simple stuff to get to the things that we find interesting and that challenge us... But putting effort into the things that we find simple or boring is what brings everything together. Thinking about and exectuting those simple elements well keeps things flowing and keeps you sharp. And that well executed element that you refused to approach as simple might catch someone's eye.

Yes, Kurt Browning was the first person to land a quad. But that wasn't all he did. He wasn't a one trick pony. It's those little things -- like that little change of edge -- and the effort he puts in that made him a four time world champion. He didn't get there by breezing through the edge changes and step sequences waiting for his chance to jump.

Multiple Yays

First off, I understand that SKATE AMERICA IS THIS WEEKEND!

Ahem.

Okay.

I think Vaughn Chipeur is assigned to Skate America... or maybe it was Chris Maybee (who announced he won't be competing this season a couple days ago...). Whichever one it was, it still marks the start of the skating season.

Skating is the only sport I can really identify with on an athletic level. I've never played football. Or soccer. Or bobsled. Luge. Baseball (girls fastball, yes). Ski jumping. I think that's why I love it so much. I took a billion dance classes, but even I wouldn't call dance an Olympic level sport (although I certainly do not dispute the fact that dancers are insane athletes). So, figure skating is about it for me.

On the skating note, I found the perfect skating music today. It's actually something that I've used before.



I know it's cheesy. I know. It's just... so much fun!! I'm not very serious and to do Swan Lake or Pachbel would just be retarded. I have a freeskate test this year, so I need a program. The above music was actually the same music I used for my very first program out of bridging... so it's kind of sentimental.

If I don't use this... I'll probably end up making my own remix of some orchestral movie/TV theme. Those are always easy and fun to play with and you can usually get a few mixes. Nothing cheesy, don't worry. Think Paul Wylie.

I finished my short story for my creative writing class. It's a little... dark. I'm actually not sure if I'm going to use it. I don't want to be known as the class wacko :P

Anyways, to finish of the 'multiple yays', my plane ticket home for Christmas was booked the other day... and I'm just about to leave for the rink.

Multiple yays, indeed.

Dammit!

Way to take the fun out of it. I've just spent all day frantically writing for my creative writing class. AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! It's just not as fun when it's for, you know, school.

In my spare moments, I spent about an accumulated hour reading/critiquing Group A's (I'm in Group B) work. Some of it was absolutley atrocious. A couple of them were absolutely amazing. The majority of them had the potential to be amazing but were just... missing something. I think being in Group B was a smart decision... it gives me the chance to learn from my classmate's mistakes.

Dammit also refers to the fact that my beloved Blue Bombers were trounced in Calgary last night. Oddly enough, both teams -- Calgary and Winnipeg -- clinched home playoff spots. Calgary with the win, and Winnipeg because TO lost. At least, I believe Calgary did... I might have to check.

Anyways, I better go grocery shopping before everything closes!

Skating!

Skating season is just a couple weeks away and the Olympics are creeping up on us here in Canada (If you're Canadian, visit www.vancouver2010.com to START ORDERING TICKETS!)... in honour of that, here's a few of my fav Olympic programs:

Jamie Sale and David Pelletier's 'Love Story' from the 2002 Olympics


Kurt Browning's 'Casablanca' from the 1994 Olympics


Bourne and Kraatz's 'Riverdance' free from the 1998 Olyimpics


Jeffrey Buttle's 2006 Olympic long with the strategic quad fall which, odly enough, probably won him the bronze medal

"Like A Drunk In A Midnight Choir"

That's my new fav weird line from a song, courtesy of The Neville Brothers' 'Bird on a Wire'. A drunk in a midnight choir? Really? What does that mean?

I think I've mentioned my adult-woman-crush -- because it's totally not a teenage-girl-crush --on Michael Shanks before. Apparently, he was on Stargate: Atlantis this season. Here's an interview from the official site:

http://stargate.mgm.com/video.php?id=156

I think I might have to iTunes the episode. God knows I have to schedule my bathroom breaks and haven't had time to watch TV on an actual television at actually scheduled times in weeks. Except football. And NCIS. Which was... wow! Gibbs has a Dad! I cried like a baby at the end. So, it was Shannon with all the 'rules' *sniffle*.

On that note... I managed to canada.com or whatever House. AHHH!!!! Another WHO'S YOUR DADDY after NCIS? No way! I'm amazed at how easily Wilson was won over. Yah, hanging out with House is fun... but he killed your GIRLFRIEND and has made your life miserable for YEARS! I expected him to hold out a bit longer. My theory is that thirteen is gonna get offed to make room for Cameron's return. They've fit in the rest of the regular cast -- Foreman on the team, Chase as a surgeon -- but Cameron's still hanging in limbo. They're totally going to off thirteen.

I Love Pie

Hopefully you didn't have quite as much pumpkin pie as I did this weekend. Seiously. Oy.

I love pie.

So I think I've finally settled on a story for my creative writing class. It's interesting because I didn't even come up with the idea. What happened was I was ranting at a friend about how I had no clue what to write and he rattled off a pretty cool plot for me.

It's interesting to write because it didn't start off as mine. I mean, now it is... it's changed a bit and it's mine. I don't want to say that I'm indifferent to it, because that's totally not it... But I'm a lot less attached I guess. I hit the delete key without crying. When something's gotta go, I'm unbiased. Usually, it's hard for me to get rid of things that I like but know need to go. Stories are like kids. Getting rid of something that you really love is like admitting that your kid is ugly... If that makes any sense.

Anyway, I think writing this story has been a good learning opportunity in the art of being slightly detached from your own work.

In other news, my fucking ear is infected. Not like a regular ear infection, but like my ear lobe. My ears are pierced, but it's been years since I've worn earings. There aren't really holes anymore. But one of them got infected anyway. It's all red and throbby and swollen. I'm sure it looks hot.

Stupid ears.

How Do You Watch Movies/TV?

I have lots of friends, former co-workers, former instructors, etc, who cannot -- for the life of them -- take a step back and enjoy watching TV or going to the movies. It's like that side of their brains never gets turned off. In fact, I had this one instructor (one Gary Yates if memory serves right) who would walk out of almost every movie he went to see within the first 15 minutes.

Now, if I'm remembering this situation correctly and it really was Gary, I don't mean to sound mean. Gary was actually a great guy and I still pee laughing every time I see Without Rockets. Which, if you ever plan on doing a short ever, you really should see.

But. And this is a big but. I really feel sorry for people who can't take a step back and enjoy what they're watching. One, because I think they're missing out. And, two, because I think watching critically is a great learning tool. But then again, try telling Oscar-short-listed Gary that. If it was even him. My memory of ten years ago is quite... fuzzy.

So, after than big rant, here's what I do.

Whenever I watch something for the first time, I always turn that part of my brain off. I'm not always successful, but I do try. I watch, either enjoy or don't enjoy, and then carry on with my day.

I save all criticism for a second watching. If I ever watch again. Which I should do more of. Even then, I'm never overly critical. I watch and let a few things run through my mind:

~What lines do I love?
~What lines make me go 'people would never actually say that!'?
~Are there any scenes that I could have done without?
~What isn't believable?
~Is there anything I don't get?
~If so, what do I think the writer might have meant? How could I get that across better?
~How would _____ have looked on paper?

Let's break right here to mention that I just heard TSN drop the HNIC theme again. Stop! Please!

My Morning So Far

I'm currently making Kraft Dinner in my kitchen bundled up like it's a billion below -- in fluffy socks, thick sweats, and an oversized sweatshirt that may have at one time belonged to my dad and somehow made its way across the country in a mixup of laundry when I was visiting -- because I don't think my furnace is turned on. Yikes! It's in the basement suite below me, so as soon as the guy who lives down there gets home, I'll bang on his door and get him to check.

While I'm waiting for my noodles to hit that perfect balance between soft and mushy, I thought I'd play with Celtx. I have FD, so it seems silly to pay a billion dollars only to use a free program, but I think I really love Celtx. It's less 'write and go' than FD, but it has soooo many features and it helps you keep track of things really awesomely. I have to say that I love the whole 'project' concept with all of the files stored under it.

The only thing I hate? It doesn't import from FD and when you copy and paste, it doesn't recognize your characters and put them in the catalogue, meaning you have to go through and highlight them all to get them into the breakdown. In. Every. Scene. Which is odd because the formatting recognizes the element correctly... it just doesn't put two and two together.

But... it's free. So I'll live with it.

Also, if I were ever going into production, this program would be a godsend compared to FD tagger. I love how it generates call sheets and lists props, etc. The only thing I haven't figured out how to do yet is to take a location and list what's IN it. Like... what's in an office, etc. I'm sure there's a way... I just haven't figured it out yet. Also, their vids are so useful in learning the program.

I just burned my lip testing a KD noodle. To the point of stingy tears. I guess the KD is done.

Who Would Have Thought..

There's many things that Bomber fans are going 'who would have thought' over this season.

It started with the first spat of losses. Who would have thought that after making a convincing run for the Grey Cup the previous season that we'd be in a battle to stay out of last place.

Who would have thought that Troy Westwood would finally be released only to be replaced by someone even more horrible.

Who would have thought that the East's nomination for MVP last year, Kevin Glenn, would be sat in favour of Ryan Dinwiddie.

Then, there's the 'who would have thought that Charles Roberts and Tom Canada would have ever been traded'.

Then the who would have thought that such a weird chain of events would keep Canada in Winnipeg.

Now... after an admittedly awful season, we're all going who would have thought that we'd have pretty much secured a home playoff spot and second place in our devision. Now, admittedly, being second in the East this year is kind of like being the best band of the 80's. But it's still second place. It's still the playoffs. It's still a shot at the Grey Cup.

Who would have thought this season would have been such a wild ride.

Good luck Blue. Don't make me eat these words.

Slightly off topic... did anyone else notice that Dunnigan looked a bit... off during the half? Tired maybe? I kept waiting for him to screw up. And every week, Clime is even more amazing. He's certainly my fav. I really love the panel on TSN... There is not one person on that panel that I cannot stand. Which is a huge change from the various incarnations of the CBC panel. Anyone remember pinball? Although I did enjoy Khari and Walby... but I might just be biased.

Also, I'm still in shock that TSN is actually using the 'Hockey Night In Canada' theme and actually reffering to it as such. It makes me think of the CBC every time they do it. Highly ineffective. Don't get me wrong. I still think the CBC is retarded for letting it go... I just can't decide who is more retarded. The CBC for letting something so iconic slip through their fingers for less coin than they're paying out in their stupid theme contest, or TSN/CTV for pretty much promoting CBC's Hockey Night In Canada every single dammed time they fire off that anthem.

If I were TSN, I would certianly pick up the rights to the HNIC theme... and then I'd let it sit on a shelf until I finally wrangled HNIC away from the CBC. Then I'd use it to take the sting away when fans started to cry over the fact that, after a generations of tradition, Canadians are no longer able to watch NHL hockey on the CBC. Because it'll happen.

Oh, and lastly, Sean Avery is a complete asshole.

And why is Celtics pronounced Seltics when you're talking about Basketball? That makes no sense. How did that even come about? Seltics. Huh. Unless someone enlightens me as to the reasons, this will go next on my list of why Americans are stupid.

Somehow, watching TSN always gets me all riled up.

Link: Mr. Harper, You're Wrong

A blogger on the NSI web site did a really great post on the arts funding cuts... anyone interested in (or already working in) the arts should give it a read.

http://www.nsi-canada.ca/mr_harper_you_re_wrong_cheryl_binning.aspx

Getting Things Off My Chest

So, apparently, my big annonymous confession to my three (or less) readers has helped me deal with the issues I talked about. Who would have thought? Well, other than every psychologist who ever lived that is...

Just admitting to myself that having other people see my work freaks the hell out of me seems to have remedied part of the problem. I mean, I bit the bullet and had other people read my work before, but it was always so uncomfortable. While it's still a little 'crazy inducing', it's easier to deal with now. I'm finding that I'm more excited than freaked about the round of workshopping coming up in my creative writing class. The bottom line is that I want to know what others think about my work. I really do. So I've decided to look at it from that perspective.

Although I know why I get so anxious at a very base level, I'm still unable to fully explain my anxiety because it seems so retarded to begin with. While I'd like to say that most fears are irrational anyway, my psych teacher would disagree. (Infact, most fears are very rational on an instictual basis... there's a reason why those BIG main fears of heights and snakes and what have you are so prevelent... and it's because people with these fears tend to survive longer. Seriously. Or they did, evelutionarily speaking). Okay. Back on topic. Since my fear is completely irrational, there's no reason to pick it apart. It's time to put on my big girl panties and deal with it. Which is what I think my last post forced me to do.

I thought of a new idea for my creative writing short story. I think it'll work well... It's about... one member of a couple takes something away from the other. The hurt-ee is, well, hurt, and decides that the only thing left to do is to take away something from her former partner. She's got one important thing of his by the balls. She figures that taking away this one thing will sting worse than what's been done to her. The thing she doesn't realize is the reprecusions of taking said thing away on herself. She comes to the conclusion that her partner isn't worth taking away THAT THING because she's worth more than that. He's not worth hurting herself to hurt him. If that makes any sense. It's a very simple concept at it's base and I'm hoping it'll turn into a good character study.

Comfort Levels

In my current career, I'm constantly getting feedback. From program directors, assistant program directors, consultants, old bosses, friends, co workers, the station manager... everyone. I wouldn't say that this doesn't phase me... but it's expected and it doesn't bother me. I mean, I still freak out a bit when I'm sending stuff off for possible jobs, but I actually welcome constructive critisizm and I've gained a certain amount of comfort with having my stuff heard. I don't think I'll ever stop being nervous, but I don't think anyone should.

With my writing, I constantly worry about other people seeing it. I worry that they won't like it. I worry that they'll think I suck. I don't think I suck... if I did, I wouldn't be trying to make this a career... but who knows what other people will think. I've never had someone rip me down and go: 'You fucking suck. Find another option!' so it's not like my fears are reality based. Like I said, I don't expect the nervousness to completely go away... but it'd be nice if I could get it down to bearable levels.

I think the difference between the comfort levels of radio and my writing have to do with a couple different things. One, I've been sending out demos since what seems like forever. Just the shear amount of stuff I've sent out takes away the sting a bit. I think sending out my writing more, until the sting goes away, will fix most of my problems. Also, with radio, it's a job. Out of college, I couldn't be a baby and not send my stuff out because I was scared about what other people would think. I had to get a job and start paying my bills. No time to panic. I think I need to treat writing like that. Like a job. I need to make it so that being a baby about this whole thing is not an option... which is really hard to do when I'm not desperate for a job and starving and struggling to pay my rent. There's a HUGE difference between really wanting something and really needing something. I'm in the wanting stage. Without becoming homeless, I need to put myself in the needing stage.

Why???

So after I'd flicked off David Duchovny's foray into soft core porno on Bravo (see three previous posts), I got to thinking.

The base idea, the pitch maybe, isn't a bad idea. Guy falls in love with girl. Girl dies. Guy finds out after her death that she's been cheating on him. Guy deals with aftermath. Actually, I really like the idea. I just have no clue why someone involved would decide to make the story idea into a soft core showtime movie. Like really.

It's been crazy warm here lately. Like flipflops and shorts hot. On the way to the rink today, I had the airconditioner on in my car and there were people outside in shorts. And I was on my way to the rink. These things are not supposed to overlap!

Speaking of laps, I did quite a few today to try to break in my new skates. They don't hurt, which is amazing, but the boots are quite stiff and I can't bend my ankles, meaning that my toe picks keep wanting to catch. I skated for a bit... just doing some exercises to get my edges back in shape. I hope to run through all of my easy singles tomorrow and maybe start spinning. The blades felt amazing and I can't wait to really try them out. They kept making this little hiss as they went over the ice... like a hot knife on butter... and I kept wanting to squeal with joy.

Oh... wait...

... he's selling her some shoes. Movie it is. I'd choose Duchovny if I were her :P

The stuff that's on late at night, hey? Completely stupid and silly. And my fourteen year old brother could so be at home right now watching this on cable. There's just something wrong about that. Way too accessable for kids.

HOLY CRAP!

So I'm watching Red Shoe Diaries right now. I've just realized that David Duchovny pretty much did soft core PORN early on in his career! It's one of those soft core erotic films that both Showtime and Bravo are famous for airing late at night when they think kids aren't watching.

It's like a train wreck. I can't figure out if I'm watching the movie or the TV show. It's long like a movie, but the 'affair' is with a construction worker and via IMDB that sounds like the TV show.

The narration is like a Harlequin novel or something. Seriously. This stuff is supposed to be good???

Dexter

As silly as this sounds, I'd never watched Dexter before. I was channel surfing tonight and I saw it on Bravo and decided to give it a try.

How screwed up is it? My god. From all of the exposition and backstory given, I think I must have caught the pilot. Freaking weird.

Is it all sort of 'bottle ep' like that? Or do they get into arcs? I mean, I know it gets into arcs, but does it get reaaaalllllyyyy un-specable like 24 or something? I know that people have found it difficult to spec, but I might watch a bit more and give it a try. If I'm ever given a chance to write for TV, I think I'd love to write for one of the shows on HBO, Showtime, etc. They all look like so much fun. So... Dexter... I shall watch more.

Oh... and in true Bravo fashion, on next... Red Shoe Diaries -- A man reads his dead lover's erotic diary. David Duchovny, Brigitte Bako.

Is it just me or is it odd that a lot of David Duchovny's roles have a bit of a weird sex vibe? Mulder watched a whole lot of porn. Then there's Californication. Now Duchovny's in rehab. So, was he taking work home with him? Or did people just kinda incorporate something that was just, well, him. Odd.

Useful Info

The NSI has a really great video up with the creators of Less Than Perfect (which is a new series on CityTV). They go through the pitch and development process and it really shows the whole process of getting a show on air quite well.

I've switched from using firefox to Explorer and now I can't get videos to imbed right... so here's the URL on the NSI web site. This way you can see all of the other info as well:

http://www.nsi-canada.ca/video_interview_with_the_creators_of_less_than_kind.aspx

Exams, Shorts and New Schools

I just finished an exam... one of those weird ones where I'm not quite sure how I did. It was certainly challenging but I'd like to think that I was prepared. But I guess there's no point in freaking out over it now. It's over.

I need to write a short film. I've never written a short before. Odd, I know. But true. I want to include a short in my audition package for film school. I think it'd go over well because, well, the poor person reviewing my portfolio won't have to read eight billion pages. It's all about execution, right? A well executed short will have the same power as well executed feature. Probably more, actually, because the person looking over my stuff will probably, you know, read the whole thing. The thing is that I'm not quite sure what the hell I'm doing. I have a few ideas, but they're all turning out a little too big. Too much stuff to fit into so little pages.

On the film school topic, I officially applied yesterday. I'll be getting an audition/portfolio package in the mail. Once I send in my portfolio, I'll have an interview. I also applied for an apartment on campus. We shall see if everything works out.

So... my weekend project is to get a good base down for a short. I finally have some time to write and instead of working on one of my pet projects, I'm vowing to devote my time to some useful writing.

Oh, and I just realized that I lied. I did write a short. When was fourteen. Something tells me that this new one better be a whole lot different than whatever I wrote back then. In fact, I'm not even going to hunt it down because I'll end up cringing and hating my writing and that's soooo not what I need at the moment.

Breakfast With Scot

Sooo...

The biggest thing in the movie that made me go 'huh'? The credits.

Produced in association with both Corus and Astral. This is... odd to me on a number of levels. Please keep in mind that I don't work for either of these companies and most of my knowledge of these companies has to do with their radio assets... but...

First of all... since when is Astral into film/TV? As far as I know, Astral used to be Standard. Standard owned very little TV stations... they did buy out the Craigs (who owned a block of specialty stations), but I think that Craig maintained ownership of their TV assets and only sold off their radio stations. I could be completely wrong. And who knows, maybe Astral has aquired more TV related assets since buying Standard... or maybe they were bigger into TV than Standard was... but until the buyout happened, I hadn't even heard of Astral... and I'm someone who's shopped for employment with most major media companies. I check Corus' job postings regularly. I check all TV job postings regularly.

And... usually, these companies are too busy duking it out to team up on anything. Now, maybe the film recieved several grants and that's where the partnership ends, but it still strikes me as odd to have these two companies linked to the same film. It's kind of like Disney and MGM deciding to share Shirley Temple. Believe me, the amount of politics involved is absolutely insane when it comes to media. The stuff I deal with on a dialy basis would blow your mind.

While we're on this topic... media is changing in Canada so fast that it's hard to tell what the hell is going on most of the time. When I started out, there were a few big companies... Corus, CHUM, Standard, Rogers, CanWest, CTV, maybe NewCap and GoldenWest if we're feeling generous. In literally the last few years, CTV has become CTV Bell Globemedia which is a huge conglomerate and they then bought out CHUM (MuchMusic, MTV Canada, etc) after CHUM had just bought out another company... I believe it was the remainder of the Craig assetts but to be quite honest, I can't remember. Astral then came out of left field and somehow managed to buy out Standard. NewCap recently bought out a whole bunch of Corus stations (recently as in the last 5-10 years). The landscape is changing and becoming smaller and smaller. Sooner or later, we're all going to be working for the same people and there'll be no wage competition, no benefit competition, no reason to treat us well. We don't have a union. If this is getting disjointed sounding, that's because I'm having a minor panic attack just typing this. Some radio/TV stations are unionized, but it's a market by market thing. I believe Astral may be unionized? I know that some stations are. I also know that the CHUM station in Winnipeg was unionized (possibly). But, there are no specific unions, like ACTRA or WGC for these people (me included). Many people may claim that unions suck, and I would have to agree with some of their points, but as talent, what makes me different than an actor? Why shouldn't I have union scale and all these things? Why shouldn't my employer be forced to pay me fairly for the work that I do? Why can't I demand green M&M's in my dressing room? Wait... got a little off topic there... :P

Okay... I'm ranting now... so I'm going to end this right here. The movie was good by the way. Highly recommended and I'm going to pick the book up tomorrow.

EDIT: One nitpicky thing I remembered about the movie... I really liked the guy who played Eric, but I have one minor eyebrow raise about the whole thing. He doesn't really look like and NHL goon. He looks more like... Brian Orser than Tie Domi or Mark Messier. I just couldn't picture him mauling people on the ice! No matter how tough you are, if you're the size of Theo Fleury, you're not going to win against Mark Messier. No matter how many Lays potato chips he's packing back these days. And I just know that because I used those people to make my point, someone is going to come up with a YouTube video of Fleury beating the crap out of Messier. But whatever. I think you get the point.

I'm ...

... not studying in the library. Yes, I'm in the library and yet I'm not studying. Interesting concept.

I'm SMRT!

I'm taking intelligence in psych right now. Apparently, despite the fact that I have practically no mental math skills (I use my cell phone to figure out how much to tip at restaurants for pete's sake!) and I can't spell for shit, I'm gifted.

Your general IQ score is: 139

I shall now gloat appropriately and not think about how there is most likely some sort of error in the testing or calculating.

Enlightenment Via My Little Brother

My little brother is one of my favorite people. Sure, he's annoying (hell, most 14 year olds are), but he's like my baby. I know that sounds odd... but I'm sure that other people with siblings who are a whole heck of a lot younger than they are can relate.

I remember the first time I saw him. I was flooded with unconditional love for the first time in my life. I mean, I know that my parents unconditionally love me. They always have. I've always loved them. I've never known any different. It's always been that way. Same with my other brother. But with my baby brother, it was almost a feeling of *snap* here's someone else you'd jump in front of a bus for and it hadn't been like that a couple seconds ago. It was like a flood.

Anyways... my brother is a little sheltered. Although he has a dirt bike and lives in the country, he somehow manages to be the biggest city kid you've ever met. I was talking to him on the phone one night and I had to explain what a rodeo was to him. Explain a rodeo!

I explained that people ride bulls in rodeos. He gave the best reply.

"But... why?" Why would they do that! And you know what? He's right. Isn't it really retarded when you think of it? Who was the first person to go 'wow... there's a big, mean, bull and I'm gonna get up on his back and ride him!' and why on earth would they think that's a good idea? It's kinda like mutton busting. Who the hell thought 'let's put our precious little babies on the back of sheep and see how long it takes them to fall off!'

I swear. My kids are going to be wrapped in bubble wrap.

I'm watching the Lion's game on TSN right now. BC place is empty compared to places like WPG Stadium and Mosaic Stadium (Sask). It always amazed me that places like TO and Vancouver can't get a decent crowd out.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

There were some changes at work today that changed my job description. Basically, in the spirit of giving me more time to do my main task, something that I enjoy doing was taken away. It's really a mixed bag. Part of me needs the time and part of me wants to scream and yell. I've been very busy at work lately and it's obviously not working... I need to focus on my main task... but at the same time, I don't want to give up something that I love.

I had an honest conversation with my APD today about it and pretty much reminded him that although I know they're not going to change their minds, what was being changed was something that enticed me to come out here. Basically, it was a bit of a hold over of my old job to the new job because I didn't want to give up all of my old job up. It was something that was part of the package when I moved out here and I just feel like it's been taken away piece by piece.

So, he asked -- very politically correctly -- if I was thinking of doing this thing ever again. Which really meant that he was asking if I was looking at leaving. I told him that if I ever did this thing again, I would hope that it would be with the same company but that I wasn't sure. Very uncomfortable considering that the APD is actually a good friend.

I'm good at being talent. I don't mean to sound conceited, but I'm a good DJ. I moved up the on air ladder quite quickly and when I moved out here, I gave most of that up. I listen to shows from when I was really good and I feel... upset. Because since I'm not doing that sort of thing all the time, I feel that I'm off my game and out of practice and maybe not as good as I used to be. But I also struggle with the public part of being a DJ -- always being on -- you might laugh, but it's actually kind of awful if you're a little shy like I can be. I struggle when I'm in front of a crowd. I struggle when random people approach me in superstore. I struggle when wackos memorize my bio off the station web site or ask me out via the request line. I struggle with a whole lot of things that come naturally to most on air talent. I'm not anti social... but I'm also not the most outgoing person, so that's why I moved away from that social aspect a bit. But for whatever reason, I'm now struggling with not being talent.

I have a choice to make. This career is going to get me through school, so I'm going to be in it for quite awhile longer (maybe forever) and I need to think long and hard about what makes me feel happiest. Am I willing to give up the talent part of my job? Or, am I willing to force myself into situations that I feel uncomfortable with to keep that aspect of my job?

I've always said that I've never wanted to do a morning show. A morning show is the epitome of success. I've never done it full time. I did a two month stretch once when a DJ was very sick and worked with a co-host that I had no chemistry with and I think that turned me off. Plus, by 11 AM, I didn't want to talk to me because I was so damn grouchy. But, now, I think that I might really want to get there some day. I want to be able to say that I did it.

I don't know why all of these thoughts are hitting me now. Confusing.

Just Quickly...

... There are a new set of shorts up at the NSI website for their online short film festival. I've watched a couple and it seems like a good batch.

http://www.nsi-canada.ca/film_festival.aspx

So...

... I'm done stoically wallowing (Is that an oxymoron?)

I'm going to see 'Breakfast With Scot' next week. I'd post a link but everyone has google and I'm lazy. Basically, it's about an atypical gay couple who ends up with a flaming little boy. It looks hysterically funny and it's neat to me...

It's neat because I'll admit that I wrote a 'gay-mance'. It came about because I couldn't write any sort of romantic female characters. I just couldn't. I know... I'm a girl. And actually kind of romantic. But I was having problems (which I have since rectified) and being lazy, I just simply eliminated the female eliment *rolls eyes*.

I actually started it quite awhile ago, but it's only recently evolved into what it is now. I would actually say that it's one of my better pieces.

Here's the thing... if someone asked to see some of my work, it would probably be the first thing I would show. It would probably also be the last of my writing that I would ever expect to be produced.

I still don't think it'll ever be produced. Realistically. But things like 'Breakfast With Scot' give all of those personal favs of ours hope. You know, the stories that we all want to tell and we're not sure how others will like it... or we're nervous about the content... or you're pretty sure that there's no chance in hell that anyone will ever produce it...

Many indie films are... risque... but hardly any have the success of 'Breakfast With Scot' (and I guess that you could argue that the film isn't all that risque if you really wanted to. I mean, we live in Canada).

I'm trying to keep up with Canadian cinema because it seems that more and more great Canadian films are being made... YPF is another recent success story (although you could argue that if it wasn't called YPF and Bill C-10 had never come up, it might have went on pretty much unnoticed) and it's awesome to see great Canadian movies without the booms in the shots and all of that other stereotypical bullshit.

After that rant... I can't not mention the funding cuts to the national schools. I'm an NSI alum and I have to say that the training I got was top notch. Two thumbs up. In order to be competitive with the HUGE film market south of us, we need things like the NSI. I'm probably going to get eaten by vultures here, but I don't necesarily need to see that money returned to the NSI. I'd settle for just staying within the arts training stream. Want to try doing something different with the money? Fine. Just don't cut us off. New can be good... stopped is what's bad.

Lastly...

Before I go to bed I just wanted to post this because I've completely ignored the news (blog-wise) that Jeffrey Buttle has retired.

So... here's the CBC coverage of his winning long program at Worlds. Try to ignore Scott Oake :P



When I first heard that Jeff was retiring, I was a little shocked. I think that since he looks so young, we tend to forget that he's getting up there for a skater. He'll be 28 for the 2010 Games. While I still think that he has a couple more years in him, I also understand his decision. I don't mean this in a critical way... because I'll never land a triple, never mind a quad... but at the age that Jeff is at, it's very unrealistic that he'll add a consistent quad to his repertoire. Sadly, if he wants to compete for the gold at the Olympics, he'd need one. His win at worlds said a lot about skating and how the whole package is important to be competitive... and he won by a whole heck of a lot... but realistically, the quad is still very important.

Quad or no quad, this program will still go down in history as one of the best long programs of all time and one of the most surprising wins of all time.

This Ararat program is gorgeous. If you have time, go back and watch his first performance of it at the 2007 Canadians when he came back from his back injury. Truly inspiring. I simply love this program. Every component is planned. Every movement is choreographed. All to gain maximum points. And yet, it looks so free and easy going. Kurt Browning is known for his Casablanca long program. This is Jeff's Casablanca.

It's My Blog and I'll Whine If I Want To...

I'm sick. Like oh-God-shoot-me-in-the-head-and-put-me-out-of-my-misery sick. I have the cold from Hades and I cannot get rid of it. It took forever for me to come down with it... for a good week, I staged a counter attack with coldFX and it seemed to back down. Then BAM! And it's taking even longer to go away.

I've tried everything to blast this thing out of my head. Benadryl. Contac-C. Dristan. Sudafed. Nothing works. I've drank not one, not two, not three, but four containers of Sun Rype Citrus Blend over the past two weeks and a bit. Four. Any more vitamin C and i'll give myself an ulcer.

Kill me now.

The only thing that makes me feel any better? Mentos. I have no idea why.

Free Writing, ect.

I should point out that the writing exercise in the post below is pretty much 'free writing'. My prof is obsessed with it. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I cleaned it up a bit before I posted, but, yah, still free writing.

I'm not really qualified to lecture anyone on anything -- except, maybe, why Metallica and Rhianna should never, ever be played back to back -- although I do sometimes rant, but whatever. So, I think I'm going to do more posts like this one where I bring forth a topic that kind of interests me and then let whomever is reading this take from it what they will and leave it kind of open ended.

I've been thinking a lot lately about how people play different roles for different people or maybe play different roles at different times in their lives. Now, despite using the word 'play', I don't mean that we're fakers... just that one person is many things to many different people at different times in their life. Also, context matters a whole lot. Take these two examples:

I once saw k.d. lang in the grocery store. Now, I've always thought of her as a feminist-lesbian-vegetarian. That's just what she was when I pictured her in my head. When I saw her at the grocery store, she was wearing jeans and a striped shirt that looked pretty much like something my non-feminist-non-lesbian-non-vegetarian mother would wear. She smiled at me and we both carried on our ways with no rants over the Grade A Canada beef in my cart. It occured to me that it was a little silly of me to expect her to be a feminist-vegitarian-lesbian at the grocery store. That might be part of who she is... it might be what we see on TV... but that doesn't mean that's all she is.

Example 2. I'll use a bit of a personal example for this one only because I'm pretty sure everyone has 'this person' in their lives. The first person who broke their heart. Let's call my 'this person' C. C and I struggled through a whole lot for many, many years before deciding that it just wasn't working. I actually moved to live close to him at one point. I know we loved each other and I know I worked really hard to make things work and I'd like to think that he worked really hard, too. But, sometimes working really hard isn't enough and I ended up with my heart broken into about a billion pieces. To me, he'll forever be the person who broke my heart for the first time. But he's also someone else's best friend, someone's brother, someone's son.

I know I said I'd leave this open ended... but I will say this... do you ever feel that you trap your characters within one person's view of who they are? Do you sometimes forget that maybe the person who broke someone's heart in whatever you're working on is also someone else's something else?

Hopeful Problem Solving

If you couldn't tell from the below post, I'm still having problems with my creative writing assignment. I feel like this should be easy for me -- I mean, this is my thing.

But... not everything is easy... so...

I flipped open my text book and found an exercise that asks me to remember childhood moments and think about what parts of the memory are vivid and why. Also, why do I still remember that memory as a whole? Why does the experience stick out?

So... here we go...

When I was about 13, my Dad got mad at me for getting mad at him. Looking back at many times when I got mad at my Dad, I wince and think 'man, I was being a total bitch' because my Dad is actually one of the best people on this planet. BUT, there's a few memories that I still look back at -- to this day -- and I still think that he was in the wrong. I guess parents can't be perfect all the time.

Anyways, as my punishment, my Dad told me that I had to take the bus home from summer day camp. He usually picked me up -- he worked about three minute drive from where I was at camp. I'm not sure what he thought this punishment would accomplish. Other than terrifying me. This might sound silly, but I'd never taken the bus alone. My parents lived outside of town and I was driven everywhere. I'd probably taken the bus with friends in the city and with my mom when I was very young, but never on my own.

The night before my bus trip, I was absolutely freaked out. My Dad insisted that I would be fine. He told me to walk to Main Street and get on any bus with an 18 on it. It'd take me out to the highway and I'd have to walk the rest of the way.

So. I walk to Main Street. Get on a bus with '18' on it. The thing is... there's about four #18 buses and they all go to different places. I remember that the one I was on turned and headed down to the rink where I figure skated. Hmm. Interesting. I got off the bus because it was now headed into unknown territory and by getting off at the rink, I at least had a vague idea of where I was. I walked up to Main Street (once again) and started walking home.

I think my Dad found me a couple hours later, still shuffling down Main Street. I'm pretty sure I had just hit the highway. When I failed to arrive home, he checked the bus schedule and realized that there were multiple #18 routes.

I know it might not seem that horrible... but I was miserable by the time he picked me up. He actually had to drive beside me for a good couple minutes before I would even look at him and get into the car. And I have to say, up to that point, I'd never seen him look so guilty.

I know this might sound like a pampered princess story, but it holds up one of the laws of parenting that I think every parent should follow: Never, ever use fear as a punishment. My Dad knew how genuinely scared I was of that bus ride. It never should have been used as a punishment.

So... why does this memory stick out to me? Because it was one of the few times that I felt truly betrayed by my dad (and that makes me a very lucky kid). My dad was usually the rational one, but that time, he made a bad parenting decision. Usually, those were reserved for my mother. It sticks out because it's so the opposite of how he usually parented.

What sticks out about the memory? I still remember exactly what I was wearing -- black shorts and a red t-shirt. My Dad had the top down on his car. I stopped at McDonalds and spent the money I should have used on a pay phone - but I was too angry to call my Dad - and bought an Oreo McFlurry. It was really hot and my backpack was sticking to my back and t-shirt with sweat. Oh, and my dad picked me up from camp for the rest of the summer :P

The Word Weird....

... is funny.

Sometimes, it can mean, well, weird. But sometimes it can mean I FEEL OUT OF PLACE! THESE PEOPLE ARE ALL SO CREATIVE AND I'M NOT!

Just some food for thought for you.

Where I Go All Five Year Old And Throw A Tantrum

I have no clue what to write for this stupid creative writing class. It's retarded how hard it is to pick something while not only knowing that your work is going to be heavily critiqued, but also knowing exactly who your audience is.

I've been toying with the idea of posting this assignment here. If I ever get anything written. Nothing will come! Ah! Back on topic... I figure that since it's just a class assignment, it couldn't hurt to post it here.

Funny how that is... I'm fine with posting the finished piece of junk on the interweb for everyone and their cats to see, but I can't think of what to write because the thought of twelve amateur writers with a penchant for the weird reading my work has me paralyzed.

Dumb.

Oh well... back to it... I have all of three vague ideas in my word processor and none of them look all that appealing.

Wish me luck!

EDIT: Also, does anyone else catch themselves gravitating towards certain names? I always think of John and Jamie first...

For Whatever Reason...

Okay, back to writing.

I'm having problems in my creative writing class. I'm woman enough to admit it.

Part of it is because the people in the class are mostly pretty weird and that seems to be shadowing my own writing. But really, why should I write something completely retarded just because the rest of my class is going to venture off into the land of sociopathic-lighter-carrying-body-burning-psychotic-knife-wielding-ex-boyfriend-carpenters. (And that really is a mix of a couple ideas that people shopped around during the class.)

I can be normal if I want to! It doesn't make me any less creative.

Still, I'm not sure what to write. I think I'd like to try a sci-fi piece, but I'm not really sure... it scares me a bit... but at the same time, it's something I haven't really done before and it might be exciting.

If it comes down to it, I'll just hack a twelve page piece of my novel out of the bowels of my computer and use that... but that feels like a bit of a cop out and I'd rather write something fresh.

I'm approaching finding a starting point somewhat like finding a thesis statement or an introduction. I'm looking for a topic I'd like to see expanded on and then I'll build a fictional story around that issue.

Any ideas?

McCain

Interesting POV...


Part of me feels that requesting full medical records is too invasive... but part of me feels that if this man has a chance of being the next President of the United States, it's only fair that the people who might vote for him have the chance to make an informed decision on whether or not he'll make it through the presidency and/or if he'll be able to carry out his duties.

This also brings Sarah Palin into the equation a bit more than the conventional VP candidate. I know more things are coming out about her views and that's only fair considering that -- in all honesty -- John McCain may very well die or become incapacitated while in office and she stands a good chance of becoming president. Do you really want someone like Sarah Palin to become president? Becoming VP is one thing... the possibility of inheriting the presedency is another. Because, let's face it, she's no Hilary Clinton no matter how much the GOP wants us to see her as exactly that.

Yes, it's american politics... but you're naive if you think that, as a Canadian, who wins isn't going to effect you.