How Things Can Change...

In my abnormal psychology class, we learned the difference between eustress and distress. It's something that I'd learned before, but this time, I had a bit of a 'huh' moment over the whole concept.

A year ago, I was working at a job I hated, producing chainsaw commercials. No joke. There were good aspects to my job... I loved doing imaging. I loved promos. I loved producing actual shows. But the basis of my job just wasn't cutting it for me. Plus, my desk was a mine field. I was constantly over worked. On top of my 40 hour work week and weekday overtime, I think I probably worked at least a couple of hours every single weekend for all of 2008. It was like everything was just piling up on me and I couldn't keep up no matter how hard I tried. My boss micro-managed. I was underpaid. Basically, I was stressed and miserable. Because of my hate for my job, I was in distress.

Today, I'm more stressed than I've ever been. I'm constantly going and going and working and learning and writing and... and...

But the thing is, I've never been happier. This must be eustress.

All stress is not equal. If you're afraid to do something you'll love because you're scared that it'll be hard or stressful, this is an important concept to learn. Being in distress is bad. But, it's situational. If you enjoy the situation that's stressing you out, you'll experience eustress and oddly enough, eustress can actually be a good thing.

Instead of getting aggravated and angry, I find myself flushed with excitement and amazement. I'm constantly being reminded of how much I can accomplish. I feel good about the things I manage to get done. I take pride in every task, no matter how stressful it may be.

A year ago, I hated my life. I was living in bumfuck nowhere, doing a job I hated. I felt alone. Not lonely, because I had a ton of friends, but alone because no one understood why I was so unhappy. I should have been happy. In fact, I had been happy. But I wasn't anymore.

You know, when I work on my writing now or even when I'm writing a paper on Greek history, I put in 110-percent. I did not put that much effort into chainsaw commercials. Why? Because those commercials weren't important to me. I don't think I realized how much I hated my job until I started doing something that I loved. When I was still doing my shit-assed-job, I started going to school and I was surprized at how much I loved it. I would work so hard to get good marks. But I wouldn't work that hard to impress my boss. It hit me like a ton of bricks one day -- I hate my job. That's why.

The only regret that I have is that it took me so long to make this decision. Before I even knew how miserable I really was, I'd been contemplating life for way too long. Once I'd realized how miserable I really was, I'm ashamed to say that I put off making a decision for even longer -- almost two whole years longer.

If anyone out there is feeling that bad stress, if you're sitting at a desk, doing a job you hate, feeling aggravated and frustrated and angry and you've been humming and hawing over those 'big life choices' for what feels like forever, do yourself a favour and leave. I promise you, there is something better out there for you.