Baby It's Cold Outside

It's freaking cold. Nostril sticking together, eye lash freezing, grown men wearing snow pants to the store, school bus cancelling, big tough truck not starting COLD!

Ironically, it should be 2 by Sunday. Huh.

I haven't been posting much lately... to say things have been rough would be an understatement. It's hard to explain... I don't feel like I've made/am making wrong decisions. I just feel... worried. I feel that I'm not working towards a career right now in my job. At school, I'm working towards a career, but at work? Not so much. It's a lot more distressing than I thought it would be.

On the other hand, I sort of like going into work every day, doing my job, and leaving without worries. Part of me feels really guilty about loving that.

I had a really stressful job. I worked evening and weekends all the time because I couldn't get everything done during office hours. There were times when I hated that job. Hated it. But, part of me sort of misses the importance of it, you know?

Reading back over most of this, it sort of doesn't make sense. I think that's because the whole situation doesn't make f-n sense! The reasons I'm feeling so... distressed are pretty muddled and... hard to pinpoint and because of that, I have a hard time describing it. So, in that sense, this post not making sense really does make sense.

I've never reacted to something like this before. I usually meet challenge head on and just do what needs to be done. I make a decision, run with it, and that's it. It's very foreign to me to be so comsumed by worry and doubt. I'm not quite sure how to deal with it.