School

A lot of people in my life have been questioning my choice to dive back into school full time. Most say that my previous education is sufficient for what I want to do. I might actually agree with that.

Here's the thing... They may be right... but if I'm not confident in my schooling, then it doesn't really matter that they're right. Going to school is something I'm doing for me. I'm pretty sure that my future employers really don't care where I went to school. I'm going for me. I want to have some fun and learn some more stuff. I want to meet great people and instructors. I'm not even there yet and I already feel like I've networked with so many people. I'm out of the loop in my current job and I need to refocus.

Does that make sense? Or am I on crack?

Confidence

I just got my story workshopped for my creative writing class. It went very well. As soon as the prof moved onto my story, I got a chorus of 'Great! I really liked that one' and stuff. In the workshop, basically, I got a whole bunch of 'I liked it because...' I had readied my thick skin for the workshop because people were being quite blunt with the other writers, but no one ripped me apart. There was one person who really didn't get it, but when I freaked out about it in office hours, my prof was quick to assure me that it was good and that you can't please every body. She said that she really liked my work and that I was doing a lot of great things. She also said that it took her two or three reads to find something to suggest for revision because my story was so focused and well written. My teacher read it all the way through without stopping to scribble on the page. Wow.

I know I'm bragging and I'm sorry... But I just really needed that, you know? I was at a point in my writing where I really needed someone to see some talent in me.

Now, after all of that good stuff, I did get some good notes for a revision and I'm going to revise it and use the revision as part of my portfolio for film school.

I'm just over the moon. It's funny how one good thing can totally put me back on track and make me feel like I'm making right choices in the direction I'm steering my life.

I did also write a short film... It's really dark. Really Dark. My writing seems to be stuck there lately. The short story I just workshopped is a serial killer murder mystery and my short is about a really wacko family with an abusive Dad. I think I need to write about butterflies and sunshine for a while :P

Hope your writing has gone equally well.

~Anon

TSN Goof

The BC/TO game is currently blacked out. I phoned StarChoice and they told me that it's a TSN issue and that it's BLACKED OUT ACROSS THE COUNTRY!!!!

I wouldn't want to be a TSN sales rep right now... I can't imagine how much moolah they're loosing right now... Nor would I want to explain to GM or Wendy's or what have you that the commercials they paid an arm and a leg for were blacked out.

That's honestly the first thing I thought (after being pissed off). I guess that's the broadcaster in me.

Neat Info

Wil Wheaton's 'Criminal Minds' ep just aired, so he's posting some on set observations and stuff. It's pretty interesting.

I always find those behind the scenes stories super interesting and I'm a huge fan of Wil's writing, so it's a double shot for me. Worth it to check it out just for the info, though.

Skate America is supposed to be on the CBC... but it's not... me thinks that they've relegated it to stupid 'Country Canada'. Assholes.

Just Quickly...

... is it just me or did you really think that Cuddy was pregnant at first on House last night? When I saw her with the crib, my first thought was 'oh, that explains why her clothes have looked ready to bust open ALL SEASON!'

I think Lisa Edelstien is gorgeous and in no way is she fat or overweight. So, don't take this the wrong way... but someone needs to put that poor woman in a size bigger! Her buttons have been bursting at the seams ALL SEASON!

EDIT: Whoops... apparently, I think NCIS and House are the same show.

Simple Things

I'm going to use a skating referece here, but hang on... it leads to some writing stuff.

Some of my favorite moves in skating are quite simple in the grand scheme of people jumping in the air and spinning four times before landing on one edge of a thin blade.

Some of my favs? Kurt Browning's change of edge in his camel spin. He does it all the time. He starts the spin on a back inside edge, and after a few rotations, he flips over onto a forward outside edge. It's probably my all time favorite move and it's pretty simple. Another favorite? Paul Wylie's spread eagle. How about Michelle Kwan's spiral?

What makes these simple moves so amazing is that the people do them don't look at them as simple. They put every ounce of energy into making sure that simple element is the best that it can be. That's why a simple change of edge in Kurt Browning's camel spin catches my eye every time.

I think it's the same with writing. Sometimes we just wiz through the simple stuff to get to the things that we find interesting and that challenge us... But putting effort into the things that we find simple or boring is what brings everything together. Thinking about and exectuting those simple elements well keeps things flowing and keeps you sharp. And that well executed element that you refused to approach as simple might catch someone's eye.

Yes, Kurt Browning was the first person to land a quad. But that wasn't all he did. He wasn't a one trick pony. It's those little things -- like that little change of edge -- and the effort he puts in that made him a four time world champion. He didn't get there by breezing through the edge changes and step sequences waiting for his chance to jump.

Multiple Yays

First off, I understand that SKATE AMERICA IS THIS WEEKEND!

Ahem.

Okay.

I think Vaughn Chipeur is assigned to Skate America... or maybe it was Chris Maybee (who announced he won't be competing this season a couple days ago...). Whichever one it was, it still marks the start of the skating season.

Skating is the only sport I can really identify with on an athletic level. I've never played football. Or soccer. Or bobsled. Luge. Baseball (girls fastball, yes). Ski jumping. I think that's why I love it so much. I took a billion dance classes, but even I wouldn't call dance an Olympic level sport (although I certainly do not dispute the fact that dancers are insane athletes). So, figure skating is about it for me.

On the skating note, I found the perfect skating music today. It's actually something that I've used before.



I know it's cheesy. I know. It's just... so much fun!! I'm not very serious and to do Swan Lake or Pachbel would just be retarded. I have a freeskate test this year, so I need a program. The above music was actually the same music I used for my very first program out of bridging... so it's kind of sentimental.

If I don't use this... I'll probably end up making my own remix of some orchestral movie/TV theme. Those are always easy and fun to play with and you can usually get a few mixes. Nothing cheesy, don't worry. Think Paul Wylie.

I finished my short story for my creative writing class. It's a little... dark. I'm actually not sure if I'm going to use it. I don't want to be known as the class wacko :P

Anyways, to finish of the 'multiple yays', my plane ticket home for Christmas was booked the other day... and I'm just about to leave for the rink.

Multiple yays, indeed.

Dammit!

Way to take the fun out of it. I've just spent all day frantically writing for my creative writing class. AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! It's just not as fun when it's for, you know, school.

In my spare moments, I spent about an accumulated hour reading/critiquing Group A's (I'm in Group B) work. Some of it was absolutley atrocious. A couple of them were absolutely amazing. The majority of them had the potential to be amazing but were just... missing something. I think being in Group B was a smart decision... it gives me the chance to learn from my classmate's mistakes.

Dammit also refers to the fact that my beloved Blue Bombers were trounced in Calgary last night. Oddly enough, both teams -- Calgary and Winnipeg -- clinched home playoff spots. Calgary with the win, and Winnipeg because TO lost. At least, I believe Calgary did... I might have to check.

Anyways, I better go grocery shopping before everything closes!

Skating!

Skating season is just a couple weeks away and the Olympics are creeping up on us here in Canada (If you're Canadian, visit www.vancouver2010.com to START ORDERING TICKETS!)... in honour of that, here's a few of my fav Olympic programs:

Jamie Sale and David Pelletier's 'Love Story' from the 2002 Olympics


Kurt Browning's 'Casablanca' from the 1994 Olympics


Bourne and Kraatz's 'Riverdance' free from the 1998 Olyimpics


Jeffrey Buttle's 2006 Olympic long with the strategic quad fall which, odly enough, probably won him the bronze medal

"Like A Drunk In A Midnight Choir"

That's my new fav weird line from a song, courtesy of The Neville Brothers' 'Bird on a Wire'. A drunk in a midnight choir? Really? What does that mean?

I think I've mentioned my adult-woman-crush -- because it's totally not a teenage-girl-crush --on Michael Shanks before. Apparently, he was on Stargate: Atlantis this season. Here's an interview from the official site:

http://stargate.mgm.com/video.php?id=156

I think I might have to iTunes the episode. God knows I have to schedule my bathroom breaks and haven't had time to watch TV on an actual television at actually scheduled times in weeks. Except football. And NCIS. Which was... wow! Gibbs has a Dad! I cried like a baby at the end. So, it was Shannon with all the 'rules' *sniffle*.

On that note... I managed to canada.com or whatever House. AHHH!!!! Another WHO'S YOUR DADDY after NCIS? No way! I'm amazed at how easily Wilson was won over. Yah, hanging out with House is fun... but he killed your GIRLFRIEND and has made your life miserable for YEARS! I expected him to hold out a bit longer. My theory is that thirteen is gonna get offed to make room for Cameron's return. They've fit in the rest of the regular cast -- Foreman on the team, Chase as a surgeon -- but Cameron's still hanging in limbo. They're totally going to off thirteen.

I Love Pie

Hopefully you didn't have quite as much pumpkin pie as I did this weekend. Seiously. Oy.

I love pie.

So I think I've finally settled on a story for my creative writing class. It's interesting because I didn't even come up with the idea. What happened was I was ranting at a friend about how I had no clue what to write and he rattled off a pretty cool plot for me.

It's interesting to write because it didn't start off as mine. I mean, now it is... it's changed a bit and it's mine. I don't want to say that I'm indifferent to it, because that's totally not it... But I'm a lot less attached I guess. I hit the delete key without crying. When something's gotta go, I'm unbiased. Usually, it's hard for me to get rid of things that I like but know need to go. Stories are like kids. Getting rid of something that you really love is like admitting that your kid is ugly... If that makes any sense.

Anyway, I think writing this story has been a good learning opportunity in the art of being slightly detached from your own work.

In other news, my fucking ear is infected. Not like a regular ear infection, but like my ear lobe. My ears are pierced, but it's been years since I've worn earings. There aren't really holes anymore. But one of them got infected anyway. It's all red and throbby and swollen. I'm sure it looks hot.

Stupid ears.

How Do You Watch Movies/TV?

I have lots of friends, former co-workers, former instructors, etc, who cannot -- for the life of them -- take a step back and enjoy watching TV or going to the movies. It's like that side of their brains never gets turned off. In fact, I had this one instructor (one Gary Yates if memory serves right) who would walk out of almost every movie he went to see within the first 15 minutes.

Now, if I'm remembering this situation correctly and it really was Gary, I don't mean to sound mean. Gary was actually a great guy and I still pee laughing every time I see Without Rockets. Which, if you ever plan on doing a short ever, you really should see.

But. And this is a big but. I really feel sorry for people who can't take a step back and enjoy what they're watching. One, because I think they're missing out. And, two, because I think watching critically is a great learning tool. But then again, try telling Oscar-short-listed Gary that. If it was even him. My memory of ten years ago is quite... fuzzy.

So, after than big rant, here's what I do.

Whenever I watch something for the first time, I always turn that part of my brain off. I'm not always successful, but I do try. I watch, either enjoy or don't enjoy, and then carry on with my day.

I save all criticism for a second watching. If I ever watch again. Which I should do more of. Even then, I'm never overly critical. I watch and let a few things run through my mind:

~What lines do I love?
~What lines make me go 'people would never actually say that!'?
~Are there any scenes that I could have done without?
~What isn't believable?
~Is there anything I don't get?
~If so, what do I think the writer might have meant? How could I get that across better?
~How would _____ have looked on paper?

Let's break right here to mention that I just heard TSN drop the HNIC theme again. Stop! Please!

My Morning So Far

I'm currently making Kraft Dinner in my kitchen bundled up like it's a billion below -- in fluffy socks, thick sweats, and an oversized sweatshirt that may have at one time belonged to my dad and somehow made its way across the country in a mixup of laundry when I was visiting -- because I don't think my furnace is turned on. Yikes! It's in the basement suite below me, so as soon as the guy who lives down there gets home, I'll bang on his door and get him to check.

While I'm waiting for my noodles to hit that perfect balance between soft and mushy, I thought I'd play with Celtx. I have FD, so it seems silly to pay a billion dollars only to use a free program, but I think I really love Celtx. It's less 'write and go' than FD, but it has soooo many features and it helps you keep track of things really awesomely. I have to say that I love the whole 'project' concept with all of the files stored under it.

The only thing I hate? It doesn't import from FD and when you copy and paste, it doesn't recognize your characters and put them in the catalogue, meaning you have to go through and highlight them all to get them into the breakdown. In. Every. Scene. Which is odd because the formatting recognizes the element correctly... it just doesn't put two and two together.

But... it's free. So I'll live with it.

Also, if I were ever going into production, this program would be a godsend compared to FD tagger. I love how it generates call sheets and lists props, etc. The only thing I haven't figured out how to do yet is to take a location and list what's IN it. Like... what's in an office, etc. I'm sure there's a way... I just haven't figured it out yet. Also, their vids are so useful in learning the program.

I just burned my lip testing a KD noodle. To the point of stingy tears. I guess the KD is done.

Who Would Have Thought..

There's many things that Bomber fans are going 'who would have thought' over this season.

It started with the first spat of losses. Who would have thought that after making a convincing run for the Grey Cup the previous season that we'd be in a battle to stay out of last place.

Who would have thought that Troy Westwood would finally be released only to be replaced by someone even more horrible.

Who would have thought that the East's nomination for MVP last year, Kevin Glenn, would be sat in favour of Ryan Dinwiddie.

Then, there's the 'who would have thought that Charles Roberts and Tom Canada would have ever been traded'.

Then the who would have thought that such a weird chain of events would keep Canada in Winnipeg.

Now... after an admittedly awful season, we're all going who would have thought that we'd have pretty much secured a home playoff spot and second place in our devision. Now, admittedly, being second in the East this year is kind of like being the best band of the 80's. But it's still second place. It's still the playoffs. It's still a shot at the Grey Cup.

Who would have thought this season would have been such a wild ride.

Good luck Blue. Don't make me eat these words.

Slightly off topic... did anyone else notice that Dunnigan looked a bit... off during the half? Tired maybe? I kept waiting for him to screw up. And every week, Clime is even more amazing. He's certainly my fav. I really love the panel on TSN... There is not one person on that panel that I cannot stand. Which is a huge change from the various incarnations of the CBC panel. Anyone remember pinball? Although I did enjoy Khari and Walby... but I might just be biased.

Also, I'm still in shock that TSN is actually using the 'Hockey Night In Canada' theme and actually reffering to it as such. It makes me think of the CBC every time they do it. Highly ineffective. Don't get me wrong. I still think the CBC is retarded for letting it go... I just can't decide who is more retarded. The CBC for letting something so iconic slip through their fingers for less coin than they're paying out in their stupid theme contest, or TSN/CTV for pretty much promoting CBC's Hockey Night In Canada every single dammed time they fire off that anthem.

If I were TSN, I would certianly pick up the rights to the HNIC theme... and then I'd let it sit on a shelf until I finally wrangled HNIC away from the CBC. Then I'd use it to take the sting away when fans started to cry over the fact that, after a generations of tradition, Canadians are no longer able to watch NHL hockey on the CBC. Because it'll happen.

Oh, and lastly, Sean Avery is a complete asshole.

And why is Celtics pronounced Seltics when you're talking about Basketball? That makes no sense. How did that even come about? Seltics. Huh. Unless someone enlightens me as to the reasons, this will go next on my list of why Americans are stupid.

Somehow, watching TSN always gets me all riled up.

Link: Mr. Harper, You're Wrong

A blogger on the NSI web site did a really great post on the arts funding cuts... anyone interested in (or already working in) the arts should give it a read.

http://www.nsi-canada.ca/mr_harper_you_re_wrong_cheryl_binning.aspx

Getting Things Off My Chest

So, apparently, my big annonymous confession to my three (or less) readers has helped me deal with the issues I talked about. Who would have thought? Well, other than every psychologist who ever lived that is...

Just admitting to myself that having other people see my work freaks the hell out of me seems to have remedied part of the problem. I mean, I bit the bullet and had other people read my work before, but it was always so uncomfortable. While it's still a little 'crazy inducing', it's easier to deal with now. I'm finding that I'm more excited than freaked about the round of workshopping coming up in my creative writing class. The bottom line is that I want to know what others think about my work. I really do. So I've decided to look at it from that perspective.

Although I know why I get so anxious at a very base level, I'm still unable to fully explain my anxiety because it seems so retarded to begin with. While I'd like to say that most fears are irrational anyway, my psych teacher would disagree. (Infact, most fears are very rational on an instictual basis... there's a reason why those BIG main fears of heights and snakes and what have you are so prevelent... and it's because people with these fears tend to survive longer. Seriously. Or they did, evelutionarily speaking). Okay. Back on topic. Since my fear is completely irrational, there's no reason to pick it apart. It's time to put on my big girl panties and deal with it. Which is what I think my last post forced me to do.

I thought of a new idea for my creative writing short story. I think it'll work well... It's about... one member of a couple takes something away from the other. The hurt-ee is, well, hurt, and decides that the only thing left to do is to take away something from her former partner. She's got one important thing of his by the balls. She figures that taking away this one thing will sting worse than what's been done to her. The thing she doesn't realize is the reprecusions of taking said thing away on herself. She comes to the conclusion that her partner isn't worth taking away THAT THING because she's worth more than that. He's not worth hurting herself to hurt him. If that makes any sense. It's a very simple concept at it's base and I'm hoping it'll turn into a good character study.

Comfort Levels

In my current career, I'm constantly getting feedback. From program directors, assistant program directors, consultants, old bosses, friends, co workers, the station manager... everyone. I wouldn't say that this doesn't phase me... but it's expected and it doesn't bother me. I mean, I still freak out a bit when I'm sending stuff off for possible jobs, but I actually welcome constructive critisizm and I've gained a certain amount of comfort with having my stuff heard. I don't think I'll ever stop being nervous, but I don't think anyone should.

With my writing, I constantly worry about other people seeing it. I worry that they won't like it. I worry that they'll think I suck. I don't think I suck... if I did, I wouldn't be trying to make this a career... but who knows what other people will think. I've never had someone rip me down and go: 'You fucking suck. Find another option!' so it's not like my fears are reality based. Like I said, I don't expect the nervousness to completely go away... but it'd be nice if I could get it down to bearable levels.

I think the difference between the comfort levels of radio and my writing have to do with a couple different things. One, I've been sending out demos since what seems like forever. Just the shear amount of stuff I've sent out takes away the sting a bit. I think sending out my writing more, until the sting goes away, will fix most of my problems. Also, with radio, it's a job. Out of college, I couldn't be a baby and not send my stuff out because I was scared about what other people would think. I had to get a job and start paying my bills. No time to panic. I think I need to treat writing like that. Like a job. I need to make it so that being a baby about this whole thing is not an option... which is really hard to do when I'm not desperate for a job and starving and struggling to pay my rent. There's a HUGE difference between really wanting something and really needing something. I'm in the wanting stage. Without becoming homeless, I need to put myself in the needing stage.

Why???

So after I'd flicked off David Duchovny's foray into soft core porno on Bravo (see three previous posts), I got to thinking.

The base idea, the pitch maybe, isn't a bad idea. Guy falls in love with girl. Girl dies. Guy finds out after her death that she's been cheating on him. Guy deals with aftermath. Actually, I really like the idea. I just have no clue why someone involved would decide to make the story idea into a soft core showtime movie. Like really.

It's been crazy warm here lately. Like flipflops and shorts hot. On the way to the rink today, I had the airconditioner on in my car and there were people outside in shorts. And I was on my way to the rink. These things are not supposed to overlap!

Speaking of laps, I did quite a few today to try to break in my new skates. They don't hurt, which is amazing, but the boots are quite stiff and I can't bend my ankles, meaning that my toe picks keep wanting to catch. I skated for a bit... just doing some exercises to get my edges back in shape. I hope to run through all of my easy singles tomorrow and maybe start spinning. The blades felt amazing and I can't wait to really try them out. They kept making this little hiss as they went over the ice... like a hot knife on butter... and I kept wanting to squeal with joy.

Oh... wait...

... he's selling her some shoes. Movie it is. I'd choose Duchovny if I were her :P

The stuff that's on late at night, hey? Completely stupid and silly. And my fourteen year old brother could so be at home right now watching this on cable. There's just something wrong about that. Way too accessable for kids.

HOLY CRAP!

So I'm watching Red Shoe Diaries right now. I've just realized that David Duchovny pretty much did soft core PORN early on in his career! It's one of those soft core erotic films that both Showtime and Bravo are famous for airing late at night when they think kids aren't watching.

It's like a train wreck. I can't figure out if I'm watching the movie or the TV show. It's long like a movie, but the 'affair' is with a construction worker and via IMDB that sounds like the TV show.

The narration is like a Harlequin novel or something. Seriously. This stuff is supposed to be good???

Dexter

As silly as this sounds, I'd never watched Dexter before. I was channel surfing tonight and I saw it on Bravo and decided to give it a try.

How screwed up is it? My god. From all of the exposition and backstory given, I think I must have caught the pilot. Freaking weird.

Is it all sort of 'bottle ep' like that? Or do they get into arcs? I mean, I know it gets into arcs, but does it get reaaaalllllyyyy un-specable like 24 or something? I know that people have found it difficult to spec, but I might watch a bit more and give it a try. If I'm ever given a chance to write for TV, I think I'd love to write for one of the shows on HBO, Showtime, etc. They all look like so much fun. So... Dexter... I shall watch more.

Oh... and in true Bravo fashion, on next... Red Shoe Diaries -- A man reads his dead lover's erotic diary. David Duchovny, Brigitte Bako.

Is it just me or is it odd that a lot of David Duchovny's roles have a bit of a weird sex vibe? Mulder watched a whole lot of porn. Then there's Californication. Now Duchovny's in rehab. So, was he taking work home with him? Or did people just kinda incorporate something that was just, well, him. Odd.

Useful Info

The NSI has a really great video up with the creators of Less Than Perfect (which is a new series on CityTV). They go through the pitch and development process and it really shows the whole process of getting a show on air quite well.

I've switched from using firefox to Explorer and now I can't get videos to imbed right... so here's the URL on the NSI web site. This way you can see all of the other info as well:

http://www.nsi-canada.ca/video_interview_with_the_creators_of_less_than_kind.aspx

Exams, Shorts and New Schools

I just finished an exam... one of those weird ones where I'm not quite sure how I did. It was certainly challenging but I'd like to think that I was prepared. But I guess there's no point in freaking out over it now. It's over.

I need to write a short film. I've never written a short before. Odd, I know. But true. I want to include a short in my audition package for film school. I think it'd go over well because, well, the poor person reviewing my portfolio won't have to read eight billion pages. It's all about execution, right? A well executed short will have the same power as well executed feature. Probably more, actually, because the person looking over my stuff will probably, you know, read the whole thing. The thing is that I'm not quite sure what the hell I'm doing. I have a few ideas, but they're all turning out a little too big. Too much stuff to fit into so little pages.

On the film school topic, I officially applied yesterday. I'll be getting an audition/portfolio package in the mail. Once I send in my portfolio, I'll have an interview. I also applied for an apartment on campus. We shall see if everything works out.

So... my weekend project is to get a good base down for a short. I finally have some time to write and instead of working on one of my pet projects, I'm vowing to devote my time to some useful writing.

Oh, and I just realized that I lied. I did write a short. When was fourteen. Something tells me that this new one better be a whole lot different than whatever I wrote back then. In fact, I'm not even going to hunt it down because I'll end up cringing and hating my writing and that's soooo not what I need at the moment.