2010

I'm heading into the New Year... dog sitting for my brother! I'm way past the PARTY stage. New Years is special to me, but not an excuse to party anymore. I'm happily spending my evening with my family (something I haven't done in YEARS) and wondering why I bothered going all out on New Years for years and years and years.

I'm heading into the New Year so fucking happy. I seriously could not have imagined how much my life could have changed over the last year. It's been an awful long time since I felt this good about my life and I just can't even describe how wonderful it is. I hope everyone is in just as good of a place tonight!

When I think about it though, although a lot HAS changed, I think it's my attitude that has changed the most.

Well, the cute puppy is demanding my attention... must run!

Another One

Cancer sucks ass.

Another one gone way too young.



The first time I heard his voice on this song, I was mesmerised.

Blame And Its Cousin, Responsibility

I hate many things about many things.

But there is little I hate more than people who can't take responsibility or shoulder blame.

If I eff up, I'm not someone to hide it.

For instance, my mother is constantly complaining about the mangers of her business. It's ridiculous. If she did her own damn job properly, she'd have nothing to complain about.

I also have a morbidly obese friend who constantly posts facebook updates that her knees hurt and that she has no clue why. IT DOESN'T TAKE ROCKET SCIENCE TO FIGURE THIS OUT!

Oh, and then there's the people who regularly drink like homeless winos and smoke like campfires and spend their nights partying and then complain that they don't feel good. Those people are the absolute bain of my existance. It's called common sense!

This seems to be an epidemic in our society. No one ever does anything wrong and yet we're all screwed up. We always blame other people or things or what-have-you. Anything but ourselves. And it drives me up the wall.

For Christ's sake, Humanity, grow some effing balls!

What I hate even more is my inability to call these people on their bull shit. It's the people pleaser in me.

Question...

I upgraded to FD8. Is there a way to convert my FD7 files? Every time I open one, it wants to resave the file in the newer format, which will create a whole bunch of duplicates.

So, is there a convert feature? A way to let them just stay FD7 version?

Things That Piss Me Off...

... at school.

These people make me want to strangle them! On my hit list? Well, those who:

- Sit in one of the three left handed desks but are right handed. You have no clue how much this pisses me off. You have a hundred other seats to choose from, and yet, you choose one of the THREE that I have to choose from! I believe there's a special place in hell for these people.

- Sit with friends and yack and watch youtube videos in the quiet study area of the library

- Talk on cell phones in the quiet study area.

- Use the tables meant for laptops (with plugs) when they do not have laptops. I'm sure these people are just slightly above the left-handed-desk-stealers in hell.

and my all time fav...

- Turn up their MP3 players super loud in the quiet study area. Just because you have headphones on doesn't mean the rest of us aren't being treated to your collection of 90's boybands.

That is all.

Dating

Dating is hilarious. Really. I've been on so many ridiculous dates lately that it's made me wonder if 'normal single guy' is a mythical species like the unicorn and the dragon.

My most recent experience? Some dude thought it would be appropriate to tell me that he still cries over his ex all the time and in fact had just finished crying over her.

Now, we all have emotions -- but this is not something you share with someone you've known for less than a week!

Oddly enough, it's the weirdos that seem to latch onto me although I'm pretty sure they also latch onto anyone else who gave them any sort of attention.

One would think that I would be frustrated, but mostly, I'm just laughing. How do these people manage to function?

Canadian Music

My love for the hip has been reignited. It happens every so often. Same with Blue Rodeo. One of my fav albums of all time = Trouble at the Henhouse

Here are a couple of my fav hip tunes:





I missed them in Winnipeg recently. Boo.

I love that we have so much great Canadian music... even if the gov't does shove it down our throats at a rate of 35% of everything we hear on the radio.

How Things Can Change...

In my abnormal psychology class, we learned the difference between eustress and distress. It's something that I'd learned before, but this time, I had a bit of a 'huh' moment over the whole concept.

A year ago, I was working at a job I hated, producing chainsaw commercials. No joke. There were good aspects to my job... I loved doing imaging. I loved promos. I loved producing actual shows. But the basis of my job just wasn't cutting it for me. Plus, my desk was a mine field. I was constantly over worked. On top of my 40 hour work week and weekday overtime, I think I probably worked at least a couple of hours every single weekend for all of 2008. It was like everything was just piling up on me and I couldn't keep up no matter how hard I tried. My boss micro-managed. I was underpaid. Basically, I was stressed and miserable. Because of my hate for my job, I was in distress.

Today, I'm more stressed than I've ever been. I'm constantly going and going and working and learning and writing and... and...

But the thing is, I've never been happier. This must be eustress.

All stress is not equal. If you're afraid to do something you'll love because you're scared that it'll be hard or stressful, this is an important concept to learn. Being in distress is bad. But, it's situational. If you enjoy the situation that's stressing you out, you'll experience eustress and oddly enough, eustress can actually be a good thing.

Instead of getting aggravated and angry, I find myself flushed with excitement and amazement. I'm constantly being reminded of how much I can accomplish. I feel good about the things I manage to get done. I take pride in every task, no matter how stressful it may be.

A year ago, I hated my life. I was living in bumfuck nowhere, doing a job I hated. I felt alone. Not lonely, because I had a ton of friends, but alone because no one understood why I was so unhappy. I should have been happy. In fact, I had been happy. But I wasn't anymore.

You know, when I work on my writing now or even when I'm writing a paper on Greek history, I put in 110-percent. I did not put that much effort into chainsaw commercials. Why? Because those commercials weren't important to me. I don't think I realized how much I hated my job until I started doing something that I loved. When I was still doing my shit-assed-job, I started going to school and I was surprized at how much I loved it. I would work so hard to get good marks. But I wouldn't work that hard to impress my boss. It hit me like a ton of bricks one day -- I hate my job. That's why.

The only regret that I have is that it took me so long to make this decision. Before I even knew how miserable I really was, I'd been contemplating life for way too long. Once I'd realized how miserable I really was, I'm ashamed to say that I put off making a decision for even longer -- almost two whole years longer.

If anyone out there is feeling that bad stress, if you're sitting at a desk, doing a job you hate, feeling aggravated and frustrated and angry and you've been humming and hawing over those 'big life choices' for what feels like forever, do yourself a favour and leave. I promise you, there is something better out there for you.

"So Now I Must Place You With All Things That I Can Never Have"

Quite literally.

My ex-boyfriend is getting married. Not to me, obviously.

Odd feeling.

I don't think I realized how much it was bothering me until I drove by the Pony Coral this evening and thought "I could really use a drink right about now."

I think John Mayer's music will make me feel sad for awhile... but other than that, I think I'll live.

It really is an odd feeling. I'm sure most can relate. Sad but not. Upset but not. Jealous? Not of the girl, but the whole 'getting married' thing? I really don't know.

Must go process.

House

I just saw last week's house. OMFG.

I think this is the best season of a TV show I've seen since... I don't even know. The episode was thought provoking and well done and... perfect. God, Chase. My stomach actually feels funny at the thought of it all.

I'm actually speechless.

We got our team back. Took three years, but they're back.

That shot of Foreman at the end had me holding my breath.

Things like this make me want to write things like that.

It's like... tension was so high with House (the character) for so long that I wondered how they were going to keep it going when he got better. I was pretty sure he was going to end up sick again. But, maybe, he won't. Maybe they'll craft the show differently and avoid the obvious. If they can keep doing what they're doing, it'll work. My heart was in my throat.

~Anon

Further Proof That Doug Berry Is A Tool

If you check TSN, WPG is on top of the kicking stats.

Hello.

Really?

Doug Berry's treatment of his players further proven ridiculous.

I'm not saying Mike Kelly isn't also a tool, but hey, maybe he's a little less of a tool than Berry.

Whatever happened to what's-his-name in TO?? The most accurate kicker to ever play the game?? What did I miss? God, I can't even remember his name... But I remember that song his holder wrote. Hah.

Why Do I Find This So Catchy?

Okay, so I still think that the Backstreet Boys are ridiculous. They're like 40 and they're making music for 12-year-olds.

And I really hate to say this, because, well, I'm not 12! But their new single is super catchy.

Completely creepy and weird when you actually listen to the words. But catchy.



There has to be a self help group and 12 step program somewhere for Backstreet-itis.

Chelsea Lately

How have I missed out on this show? She's freaking hilarious! Such a nice change from all of the awful women on TV.

Dating and Swine Flu

Not together, of course.

So, I went on a date with a weird guy. I'm putting that lightly, by the way. He rambled about chemistery the whole time and didn't once ask me a question about myself. He was a total geek. Now, I'm also a geek, but he took it to the wears-pocket-protector level. I just... didn't have a good time. At all. I actually started watching the football game above his head. He was cheap. God, really cheap. As in took me to a nice restaurant and ordered just water, making me super uncomfortable because although I don't expect anyone to pay for me, if he's thinking that he should, I don't want to order and make him feel responsible for my bill (which he wouldn't be... I pay for myself... but still... I think you get my point).

He called a couple times and I didn't call him back. It was just one date. I recently received this message:

I really think you are an interesting, beautiful woman and I was hoping to have the chance to see where things could go between us. It is becoming apparent, however, that you do not feel the same. I have called you on a couple of occasions and have sent you several messages, but have never gotten a response. I understand you are busy (as am I) but I am not going to chase you. If it is just a case of a problem with technology or something like that, I apologize, and look forward to haearing from you soon. If that is not the case, then you won't be hearing from me anymore and I wish you all the best in your future endeavours.

I was pretty shocked. I mean, it was one date! It became even more apparent that he had no clue how to date, which is why, instead of simply saying 'not interested', I felt the need to educate him a little bit. Which is why I sent him back this:

I'm sorry Chad, but I'm just not interested. There is no specific reason why, but I just didn't feel a connection, which would be why I didn't return your calls. I don't expect anyone to chase me... it's quite common while dating to meet many different people. Some of them you don't call back. It was just one date... I'm sorry if you read more into it than I did. Sorry if this hurt your feelings.

Sure, it was a little cruel, but COME ON! It was one date! One date!

Onto the swine flu... I thought that Sanjay Gupta diagnosing Anderson Cooper with swine flu live via satellite was actually funny. I mean, they were both fine. It was comical. You should look up the clip on youtube.

Brian Litrell was recently diagnosed and v-blogged (or whatever you want to call it) an apology for... a cancelled appearance? Apparently, the Backstreet Boys still sing or what have you. Anyways, his message actually made me feel sympathy pain! Dude looks like crap!

I originally saw the clip on Perez Hilton, but here's a nifty youtube vid embedded right before your eyes!



Apparently up to 40% of us will look just as horrible this winter. Fun times!

Only A History Prof...

I have a history prof who is one of those... cultured men who speak like Shakespeare reads.

I just received this in my jump inbox...

You will doubtless be saddened to hear that I have been stricken by some dread virus and laid low, barely able to croak. Consequently, I am cancelling class on Thursday.

It made my day. Despite the fact that I didn't get the email until today and went to class. And we all missed the notice on the door and sat, waiting. Until I noticed the green sticky note on the door and read it to the class.

The wording of his email makes up for all of that.

Ha.

On that note, everyone at school is sick. Every person I've had the pleasure of sitting next to. Every prof I have. It's absolutely hysterical because I'm not sick. I'm sure, if I was, it would not be hysterical. Everyone but me in my creative writing class is sick... to the point where my prof felt the need to re-state the H1N1 protocol. Yes, we have one. I'd forgotten how schools turn into giant cesspools.

In my best Dr. History style, I suspect I shall eventually succumb, but, alas, today I am fine and I shall appropriately gloat.

Penny and Me

I must have been the sole teenager on planet earth who, in the late 90's, did not like Hanson.

However, I like this song.



I still think they look like girls.

Well, It Begins

I never blog. Then I blog three times in a day.

Bed time, but I started my Advanced Creative Writing class the other day and thought I'd mention it.

It scared the crap out of me. The teacher is actually a, well, writer! Not one of the failed ones that teach because they suck. I didn't much enjoy his book, but many people did. Some things just aren't up your alley. Although I didn't like the book, I still can recognise the talent he has and what he will hopefully be able to teach me. I have a feeling that, when writing about different subjects, I would really enjoy his style.

So, I need five pieces to workshop. God help me.

On top of this, I'm taking Linear Algebra and Vector Geometry (really, don't even ask!), so I'm sure I'll die this semester. I'm also taking a crazy memorization heavy history course with two giant papers and a film class with about a billion assignments.

What in the hell was I thinking?

Anyways, I have to be up at 6 to make it to my math class on time (don't laugh) so I'd better jet.

Eat This, Tom Cruise

As a former psychology major, I get really angry at people like Tom Cruise. You can only imagine.

Anyways... I'm late on the pick up of this story, but take a look.

Jonathan Knight in 2000 (take a listen... before getting to this awful, jittery BETTER point, he spent like three years hiding in bed).

Jonathan Knight now...

Voila. The wonders of good psychiatric care. I'm pretty sure Zoron (or what have you) and vitamins didn't get him to this point.

If you look around youtube, there's a few great videos of him finally singing his solo on tour and every other band member going absolutely bat shit insane.

Go Jon!

Maybe he'll go on a Cruise Hunt?

Patrick Swayze

At age 57, Patrick Swayze died today.

One of my dance teachers once had an audition with him. She knew she wasn't the right choreographer and pretty much told him so, but he (and his wife) danced and had fun with her for an entire afternoon just because. She was amazed at how kind hearted he was. She was amazed at how much he and his wife loved each other. Basically, she was just amazed that someone so famous and powerful could be so genuinely nice and kind and amazing and human.

I think I've said this before, but pancreatic cancer sucks. It really sucks. It's a death sentence. That needs to change.

If you've ever seen a Patrick Swayze movie and you feel a little shitty because he's fucking dead, go donate a couple bucks to cancer research.

I know that, as a collective, we're smart enough to beat this thing.

Quarter Life Crisis

One of my friends is going through what I like to call her 'Quarter Life Crisis'.

What does this entail? Well, let me tell you...

- Breaking up with a wonderful boyfriend
- Making out with eighteen-year-olds
- Excessive bar hopping/drinking
- Dropping out of school
- Spending time with shallow people
- Avoiding us reasonable people

Now, this is a person who is smart. This is a person who could really excell in life. And yet, she's being a complete tool.

Is this normal??

Seriously.

In other news, school starts tomorrow for me. I'm ubber excited. My parking space is in the furthest parking lot possible, but I figure I'll just get lots of exercise walking all over... I'm sure my view will change come -40.

Seriously

So someone replied to my comment on that chick's blog basically saying that I was like those people who blame rape victims for wearing short skirts. Seriously.

I thought about a rebuttal, but held back. Why? Well, first of all, everyone on that blog is so stupidly pissed off and offended they they would never see my point of view. Second of all, I have better things in life to worry about than a Stargate casting call.

I think this whole world needs a massive chill pill. Really. There are things that you should get worked up about. Like the fact that people are dying in Iraq everyday while fighting a war we can't win because we have no other option at this point. Like the fact that we're killing our planet. Brain cancer.

It is not worth your time to get so worked up about such small things.

Also, I really hate it when people look for reasons to be offended. For all you know, this could be an amazing story, but you've chosen to judge it on what you've pulled out (tooth and nail) from one line in a casting call. Grow up. There are so many real reasons to be offended that we shouldn't go looking for extras.

And, lastly, I stand by my argument. You're an idiot if you can't take some sort of responsibility for what you watch on TV.

Hollywood Is So Much Better Looking Than Real Life

Seriously. It's a fact.

I just posted this comment on someone's blog after they ranted about a Stargate casting call:

Although I totally understand (and agree with) your argument -- like, come on... Calista Flockhart! Ridiculous -- I have to point out that casting calls like that go out because it's been shown (via ratings) that those are the type of actors/storylines that do well. Now, we can get into the whole 'chicken or egg' discussion, but I really do believe that we, as a society, are incredibly shallow and that it's super unfair to blame the fact that the producers in media cast waif thin actresses that we all tune in to see on the producers alone.

I know the situation is a lot more convoluted and full of money and stupidnes, but the reality is that your movie/show will make more money with fit, atractive leads because that's what we all tune in to see. I'm not saying this is right. I'm just trying to stress the WHY of the whole thing.

I've had the chance to interview a few people involved in SG, both actors and writers, and all were incredibly passionate about the shows they create. They work really, really hard, and it's not fair to rip them apart for creating a show based on what our society has shown will be successful.

So, do you agree? Or am I crazy?

Note to society: you are what you eat.

Musicians That Sell Out

I absolutely hate it when musicians release music that doesn't sound like them just to get played. It drives me nuts. For instance, that new Pearl Jam song? What the hell! That doesn't sound like Eddie Vedder!

Another one is the Backstreet Boys. If it's even possible, they're releasing music more childish than they did in 1998! It's a cop out! They're 30!

Reinvention is great. I get that. Copying trends just to get played? GAH!

And the Pearl Jam Song...

Catchy as hell, though.

Michael Jackson

Did you watch the Michael Jackson memorial service? I caught parts of it and I have to say, it was quite tasteful.

The thing is... I'm not sure how I feel about us memorializing him like this. I know we've all been thinking it and I'll hold off a bit because the guy just died, but I will say this...

Since I (and about 99% of the world) did not know him, all I have to judge him on is his media coverage, which is quite sad, but also honestly true. Are we all huge bandwagon jumpers?

In the coming years, it will be interesting to see how we remember him.

But, his gorgeous daughter absolutely made me cry. I think that we forget that he was a real person. A dad. To us, he was just Wacko Jacko.

No doubt though, he was a true talent.

Really Now...

Is anyone else suprized that it took until last night for some celebrity to boom boom pow Perez Hilton?

Seriously.

You can't do and say what he does and expect not to piss people off!

If I were Britney Spears, I'd have bitch slapped him by now.

Huh...

I don't look at myself as an 'always involved' person. When I think of myself, I think of myself as the serially single person.

But, looking back at my dating history, it's actually quite rare for me to be single.

So, now, I'm back in the dating pool. Since I haven't done this in awhile, I'm finding myself with a question that's been bothering me a bit.

Now, I'm guessing that the answer to this question is both relative and subjective, but I thought I'd put it out there anyways...

When dating, at what point do you stop seeing other people?

This is something that I've never had to worry about before. I've always been clearly interested in one person at a time. However, as slutty as this may make me sound, I'm seeing a couple of guys right now. I went out with the goal of meeting new people and I guess I succeeded.

To expand my question... how do you start weeding people out? Is there etiquette?

But, mostly, when do you become exclusive? Do you have a chat about this?

God, I probably sound like such a child, but I actually have never been in a position where things like this would matter. I had one serious boyfiend through highschool. I had another in college. Another from the end of college until recently. All of them were aquired doing non-date-hunting activities. All were... unintentional if you will.

Do I wait until it starts to feel icky to spend time with someone else? Will I just know?

Jeebus, I'm such a dork.

Happiness

I read over my blog posts from the last few months awhile ago and noticed that I was in a shitty mood almost all of the time. I mean, it's not like I was naive, but it was a little eye opening.

I've been working on being happier. I did go through a rough time. It wasn't peaches. But that doesn't mean I have to be miserable now.

One of the things I've started doing is dating.

Oy.

Now, I'm sure anyone who has been out of the dating pool for a significant amount of time can relate to my 'oy'.

I know this is going to sound melodramatic, but I've just started to realize that me and the person that I thought was it for me aren't going to get married. It's not quite as pathetic as it sounds... he's only just started to realize the same thing. It would be worse if I was the only one left hanging on.

This is a big revelation for me. I've dated between me and the ex's on and off stints. But I've never dated with a purpose.

Now, that's not as whore-ish as it sounds. I'm not the type of girl who sleeps with random men and that wasn't my goal in dating without a purpose.

I just never looked at things in a long-term sense. Now, I've started looking for the it person again. It's clicked in my brain that I hadn't actually found him, and I'm dating differently. I'm dating with a purpose. Not to be less lonely or kill time.

I know this will sound really stupid, but I think I experienced about as close to a divorce as I could possibly get without being married. I really honestly thought that that person was it for me. I planned out my life. Based my decisions on him. I moved to another province for him. And to move away from that took an awful lot of will power. To separate myself from the idea of what we could have took even more effort.

In simpler terms, it took me a really stupidly long time to move on completely.

I think we're all allowed one horrendous breakup. I've certainly had mine. And I've learned a lot from it.

I've learned that basing my life on what someone else wants is retarded.

I've learned tolerance.

I've learned how important it is to be kind with another persons' heart.

I never, ever want to make another person feel the way I felt. I never, ever want to cause someone to hurt as much as I hurt. And I think I'll be a better partner because of it.

So, dating. We'll see how it goes.

Things I Hate

Many little things have been drivng me completely nuts lately. Because this is my blog and I can do whatever the hell I like, I decided to make a list.

So....

Things I Hate:

I hate that although the speed limit on the Cheif Peguisis Bridge is 80, I always get stuck behind the one tool going 50.

I hate that the City of Winnipeg will close down main street on a Saturday and not put up any notices until you practically run into the fucking baracade.

I hate that lululemon pants are so expensive but make my ass look so good.

I hate that school is costing me a fortune.

I hate that my parents act like teenagers even though they're technically still raising one and then have the balls to ask me why I think my little brother has no sense of responsibility.

I hate that some of my AP friends look at me like I'm stupid just because I'm not a lawyer or something. I wish I could stamp my IQ and maybe my GPA on my forehead.

I hate that I just paid 10 bucks to see Dance Flick because my friend thought Star Trek would be 'too geeky'. What a waste of 10 bucks.

I hate that I can't find a job that makes me feel good.

I hate that I want to feel good and I can't just work a job for a paycheque.

I hate that my chosen career has such a high failure rate.

I hate that my ex boyfriend is shacking up with some chick with no ambition just because she'll pop out babies on demand.

I hate that some boys just can't make up their mind.

I hate that people phone me at work -- and put no thought into the fact that they're talking to an actual person -- just to vent and make me feel two inches tall just because it makes them feel better.

I hate that I don't make more money.

I hate traffic downtown between the hours of 3 and 6.

I hate that I can't skate all summer long.

I hate that the Winter Club is so fucking expensive. Is a machine that dries your bathing suit worth that much?

I hate that it's going to take years to finish school.

I hate 'that friend' (that we all have) that is so fucking selfish and can't keep plans to save her life.

I hate that I don't get enough sleep.

Oh! And I forgot...

... brand new 'Jon and Kate + 8' in like an hour!

I love a good train wreck... and she's so nuts! It's great!

But, I almost feel bad watching because you just know that in... 15 years, we'll be watching 'Jon minus Kate sends his 8 to rehab' or something equally as tragic.

Poor kids!

The Steven Pages

I just found out that Mr. Steven Page has a blogger account...

http://www.thestevenpages.blogspot.com/

It's actually quite coherent considering. :P

Oh, shut up, don't even rag on me for saying that. He brought those jokes on himself.

There's also a random song about Linda Ronstadt. Weird.

And what's up with his hair? I wonder if cocaine destroys hair follicles?

Anyways, that's enough Steven Page bashing. Well, sorta bashing... just the drug stuff is considered bashing I guess. I actually really like his music... as for his choice of recreational activities, those I'm not such a fan of.

I've always loved that he was so smart. I'm constantly amazed that people who are so incredibly smart somehow still make such poor choices. That is all.

Back to your regular scheduled programing.

Online Short Film Festival

There's a batch of films up at the NSI's web site. www. nsi-canada.ca

Some good ones. Some weird ones. Worth your time.

Why You Should Never Meet Someone You're a Fan Of, Part 1

Many people would call me when I was a DJ, begging me to get them backstage to meet their favorite bands.

Now, seriously people, it's quite difficult to get backstage. Your favorite DJ really isn't going to be able to help you. They're lucky if they can get themselves backstage, nevermind you.

Okay. Back on topic.

So, the want to meet celebrities surprises me because:

1. Really, what are you going to have in common? Will you ever see them again? Basically, it's a pointless waste of time.

2. You will most likely be let down.

Now, for #2, I have to say... I've met a few celebs that didn't let me down, but I wasn't a huge fan of any of them. When you're a huge fan of someone, meeting said person is always going to fall short of expectations. And, sometimes, they're actual jerks.

Here's a personal story...

I've always been a huge Wide Mouth Mason fan.

I had a change to MC one of their concerts for some sort of charity... I can't quite remember what it was for...

Anyways, I thought that would be pretty cool. If anything, it'd get me a good view of the show.

So, I introduce the band. I come off stage and they go on. Their manager flags me down and mentions that they're going to do an encore and would like the radio station (me) back onstage to rev up the crowd (throw out t-shirts, etc). I said fine... whatever... I'm staying for the day (it was a multi band thing). The dude tells me what song to listen for and I go on my merry way.

Now, here's where things get funny.

So, I come back when they're doing their last song. I ask the manager if an encore is still planned. He assures me one is.

The band comes off the stage. I go back up with some t-shirts.

I'm reving up the crowd and I look behind me to see if the band is ready to go. They're still drinking water, ect.

I throw another t-shirt.

When I look back again, I just manage to catch...

The band jumping the hockey boards and heading out the back doors to their tour bus.

What the hell am I supposed to do?

To tell you the truth, I don't remember what I did exactly. All I remember is that I was stuck up there hyping a band that wasn't coming back and I was pissed off. They knew I was up there getting the crowd ready for an encore and they jumped the boards and left!

Their manager apologized profusely, but I have to tell you... I haven't been a very big fan since.

Rip Off!

I know that Westlife has made a pretty good career off of covering songs, but this is absolutely ridiculous.


And now...


Like seriously.

I found that 'Amazing' song in my iTunes and did a double take. Not only do I not remember BUYING it, but it sounds a lot like I Want It That Way...

Being the geek that I am, I put both of them into Audition and synched them up. It's uncanny.

God, when will people start getting new ideas? I'm not sure if it's the same sample, or blatant plagarism, but they sound stupidly alike. Like all music now. Sheesh.

EDIT: A better version of I Want It That Way...

One Question...

Is NCIS spec-able yet?

Seriously.

I've toyed over doing an NCIS spec for years. It's been on for years. It's climbed up the ratings. Can I spec it yet?

Gah.

Also, I've spent all weekend doing homework. If the weather wasn't so sub par, I'd be a lot more upset.

I'm currently going through all of the stuff I wrote in my intro creative writing class last year to find something to submit for admission into the regular and advanced classes.

The good news?

The stuff is salvageable.

Is that horrible? That the good news is that it's salvageable? God, at least it isn't garbage I guess. I don't know if my brain could cope with that today. Or, maybe it is garbage and I'm just delusional.

Okay. Procrastination over. Back to work.

Is This What We Call Irony? Maybe?

I had completely forgotten about this song... Self full filling prophecy anyone?

Well, he now carries cocaine in a pill bottle labeled 'calcium' and his girlfriend's roommate has to hold him down on the front lawn to stop him from drinking and driving. Go Steven!



I'm not necessarily anti-anything... I'm more anti-stupid. Instead of being a health nut, I'm just anti-arteriosclerosis (and if I spelled that right, I deserve a medal), I'm not anti-tanning, I'm anti-cancer (why don't you just bathe yourself in cancer! Oh, wait, you already have). I'm not necessarily an environmentalist, I'm just anti-let's-all-drown-into-the-ocean.

I'm not anti-drugs, I'm just pro-brain-power and anti-lets-fry-my-brain-and-make-myself-stupid.

Oh, and this is absolutely fucking hillarious.

Useful Blathering... Well, Depending on Your Perspective I Guess

I tend to blather a lot.

Whoops.

I've been tossing some ideas around in my head for the last little while. I have a couple I'd like to blog a bit about to try and sort out my thoughts a bit.

The first is actually an old idea. I wasn't really getting into the couple new projects I'd started, so I headed back to an old one. I believe I actually have a whole post somewhere on why I should never write a book, but I've started working on a novel-ish project that I started... oh my gosh... like three years ago. The story line had been floating through my head quite a bit lately and I figured 'why not'?

What I have done is switch up my writing process a bit to keep me from going too ADD. I've started to outline it pretty much exactly like I would a screenplay. I have no clue why, but the first time I attempted to write such a long narrative project, I thought it would be just fine to jump right in with nothing but a page of notes scribbled on loose leaf. Not one of my brighter moments. Hopefully, by keeping the process highly organized, it'll alleviate some of the ADD-ish-ness and stuff.

The other project I've been thinking about kind of centers around my job, so I can't say too much. What I can say is that I work in a bit of a... death sector?? If that makes any sense. I regularly deal with people who are dying or dead (well, then I guess I wouldn't actually be dealing with them) or grieving. I think I could probably take this somewhere interesting, but I'm unsure of the direction I'd like to take. I have a bit of a quirky story line I'd like to try, but I'm unsure if it's appropriate. I might try a bit more of a suspense/drama-ish story line.

I had a couple of projects started... a romantic screenplay and a narrative piece. Both seemed great in my head and on paper, but both have sort of stalled. As for the first, I just couldn't find my characters and I didn't feel connected. As for the second, it wasn't making me feel good to write it. The topic was just a little too fresh personally and instead of being cathartic, it just made me feel like shit.

I laughed my ass off watching a clip of Celeb Apprentice tonight. Someone sent me a link to Trace Atkins (sp??) buying nail polish for the BSB. They had the most ridiculous rider and Trace looked like he was going to kick their little asses. If I were ever famous, I'd have the most ridiculous rider just to make smoking gun. I swear. I'm not sure what I'd request... maybe I'd request entertainment. Jesters. Jugglers. Mimes. As for food... what's hard to find? Hmmm... Aloe Juice from Shopper's. Try to find that in Iowa! Old Dutch chips. Cloddhoppers. A latte flown in from South Africa. I don't even like coffee!

I hear that Celine Dion or someone has to have her freaking water at a certain temperature.

Can you imagine how delusional you'd be if you had an army of people on this earth with the sole purpose of catering to your every whim? My God.

I think this would be a good place to stick a youtube link...

I've been listening to this quite a bit. Funny how she's actually talented despite most of us only hearing about how much coke she snorts.

(And I could go into a whole rant about how stupid coke is, but I'll hold back. I mean, how retarded are people? Seriously.)

Random Blathering

I start school again in a couple weeks. I feel like bursting out into song. Seriously. I'm such a geek.

I'm at the Giant University -- otherwise known as the U of M -- this semester, so it should be interesting. The building where my psych class (that I've since dropped) was supposed to be held burned down in preparation for my arrival.

Someone from my previous job was in town this past week and I meant to see him, but I ran out of time. I feel bad about this, but at the same time, it would have been awkward. I've been very careful in my contact with people from my Horrible Job... I've only actually talked to two people there since I left... One I ran into in town before I left and I chat with on FB every now and then, and the other was one of my best friends at work and I kept in touch. The reason is this... I know that people probably took sides and I have no need to further taint my mental image of that job with the knowledge of who took who's side. Not only do I not want to find out about who didn't take my side, but I also don't want to lament about what happened with the people who did take my side because I'm seriously scared that I'll start to cry all over again and all of those feelings of betrayal and stupid childish anger will come back.

Yes, I'm melodramatic.

The person who treated me like shit was a friend, so, yeah, I do take it personally. When I think about what happened and how much and how often I was lied to, and how hard I worked to make this person's business a success story, I still feel like I was punched in the chest.

I wish I could dump the whole story here on the net. I really do. Because I think it would actually help me a whole lot to put the whole experience in writing. Cathartiscism and all that stuff. (And, yes, I just made that word up.)

I think the fact that I feel the need to explain myself to nameless people on the internet says a lot about the situation... although I'm not sure exactly what.

On the other hand, I'm a total hot yoga convert. Maybe this will lead me to Zen and the Art of Letting Go.

And one final note... this is totally not the post I sat down to write. Actually, I had something worthwile to say... but somehow, it morphed into the crap you see before your eyes.

Shitty First Drafts

I read a great essay in one of my writing text books on not being afraid to write shitty first drafts. I would give you a title and author, but I'm lazy... so, here's the name of the text it was in:

Writing Fiction: A Guide to Narrative Craft

Now, I really think this is a great text. I highly recommend it.

And, I'd completely forgotten about it today as I was about to give up on one of my writing projects.

See, I get so little time to write these days that I want to invest my time wisely -- not spend it on shitty first drafts.

But, how many great writing projects do we all give up on because we're scared to write a shitty first draft? How quickly do you give up?

I thought of that essay before I gave up today, and I think I'm going to soldier on. It's retarded to think that everything of value that you write will be magnificent right off the hop. But yet, we all give up on our shitty stuff pretty fast.

Who knows... maybe the second draft will be a hell of a lot less shittier. The third might even be good. You might even find something you would have hated to have given up on amongst the pile of crap.

I understand that we're all picky and busy and egotistical, but sometimes, good things come out of investing time in a pile of manure.

Go forth and be proud of your shitty first drafts! :P

Let's Just Get It Out In The Open

So, I'm sure I'm not alone in this...

Here's the thing...

Most of the time, I have no clue what the hell I'm doing. I have no clue what the hell I should be doing.

I'm not sure what path to take or where I want to be, really.

When I think of my future, I kind of shrug, because really, what the hell do I know?

This troubled me for a long time. Now, I'm more or less resigned to it and the fact that it'll all sort itself out in the grand scheme of things.

I hate people who whine, but being as I don't know anything apparently, and I whine a lot about it, I have more.... compassion for chronic whiners. Because I am one.

I'm still uncertain about where I'll be in the fall. I've applied for a Millennium Scholarship using my Psychology plans... graduate school and the such.

I've also not dropped out of the film school in another province that's expecting me come fall just yet. I can't bring myself to do it.

As a compromise with myself, I've set up a meeting at the U of Dub to check out their film program. What draws me to it (because, hey, it's not renowned or anything. Seriously. It's not.) is the fact that they offer a whole BA program in creative writing. Now, I don't think I'll get a BA in creative writing, but that fact does open up a lot of course opportunities within film, or, even Psychology.

Well, if I could just psycho analyze myself, I wouldn't be in this mess! :P

The good news is that I have a great new job meaning that all of these options are open to me because, come fall, I won't have money worries. Which takes a lot of the tension out of my chest.

Question...

There's a hot security guard at the mall who looks like a teeny bit chunkier version of John from Stargate: Atlantis with the youth of Evan Lysacek. He's also from Australia which just adds to the hottness.

Here's my question...

How come it took a wierd doppleganger sighting for me to realize how damn hot this John dude is?

Ah, Hollywood... so much better looking than the rest of the world!

Calvin and Hobbes

I loved Calvin and Hobbes. I've read probably every strip. It's right up there with FBofW for me.

When it ended, I was actually melencholy about it! Seriously! I'd grown up with it and then it was just GONE!

I found this via a bunch of blogs (Sclazi, etc) and I'm not sure who to credit it to. I just thought it was beautiful. If anyone knows who drew this, please let me know and I'll credit them accordingly.

Here's a link to more of the same: http://gerrycanavan.blogspot.com/2009/03/grown-up-calvin-and-hobbes.html

I once dated a Calvin. Do you know the name actually means 'bald'? I thought he was lying until I looked it up in a baby book. I never did get him his very own Hobbes.

New Job

I haven't blogged lately.

Ooops.

I found a new job and I've been working both the new one and the old one until I can leave the old one. This has left me with very little time to do anything else.

Also, why are people so mean when you quit? I guess we all know the answer, but still, is it necessary?

Over the past few weeks, I've worked extremely hard at my old job to make sure that I leave on a good note. It's important to me because I know this person through someone else and will possibly have to see her. Most people would just go 'hey, I put in my two weeks, so now I really don't care and I'm going to slack!'. But I've been working really hard and she's still been really difficult to deal with. After a blow out today, I've realized that she just thinks I'm the spawn of satan -- or something equally as evil -- and I'm out to destroy her business and there's absolutely nothing I can do to change her mind.

Yes, today she pretty much accused me of being a horrible person. Yay.

Sometimes, life's too short, so that was the end of that.

I understand being angry at me for quitting, but really, am I the spawn of satan? No.

In other news, I love my new job. Love it. That makes things a bit better.

Maybe Katie

Your first look at BNL sans Steven Page:



I quite like it. I didn't know the bass player could sing. I think he actually sounds really good... but I'll reserve judgement until I hear him attempt 'What A Good Boy' or 'Brian Wilson' or 'Call and Answer'. It would be interesting to see them live and see how they handle missing their front man.

I still think Steven got the boot. At the very least, I think the claim that his drug arrest didn't affect the decision is complete BS.

But.

I could be wrong. When it comes down to it, really, what do I know?

EDIT:

Ed doing 'Old Apartment'



I think he sounds amazing. I may have to eat my words.

Blah Blah Blah...

It's my birthday tomorrow, and the reason that's of note (other than this being my blog and all... meaning anything I want can be of note) is because this is the first birthday I've ever felt trepidation about.

My boss told me today... 'Anon... no matter what, tomorrow will come, and you will be XX.'

Basically, it was 'just deal with it' sugar coated.

I'd like to say that I have no clue why this birthday bothers me. I really would. The fact is that I know exactly why this birthday is bothering me.

Why?

Well... where shall we start...

Oh! How about...

This isn't where my life was supposed to be...

or

Why don't I know what the hell I'm doing? Shouldn't I know by this point??

I moved to Winnipeg with the plan to just make it work. I've been wanting to move back here for a really long time and it just got to the point where I figured I might as well move and just... make it work. But. Things aren't working out like I had hoped and I'm frustrated and angry and bitter.

I worked really hard at my last job. I put in a lot of personal time and dedicated a lot of my energy to it only to be treated like absolute shit in the end. This irritates me because it taints all of the good memories that I have of those times and makes me feel less proud of my achievements. It makes me bitter and angry and wary of expending that amount of dedication and energy again. I know that sounds childish and silly, but it's how I feel.

So, all in all, this is a birthday filled with doubt and confusion... and maybe a bit of wallowing over the fact that I'm not where I want to be just yet.

I'm just... angry. Like a four year old or something. And I don't like it.

BNL Page-Less

So, Steven Page has left BNL.

Just a quick pole... Who believes that he actually left? Hands?

No one? Okay then. Just to get that out of the way.

Now, actually, I do see one scenario where he technically could have left... Everyone else could have been like 'Yo, Steve, the way you're living your life really sucks for the rest of us' and he could have been all like 'yo, you guys are totally not cool. Fuck you. I'm quitting.'

What I really think happened goes a little more like 'Look, Steve, we love you, but snorting coke while we're promoting a kids album is just not cool. Now everyone thinks we're stoners, and, you know, we all have kids, man. And, well, no one will play us anymore and... well...'

And then...

'Are you guys firing me?'

I mean, he's Steven Page -- not freakin' Steven TYLER! The Barenaked Ladies have always been good, silly, clean fun. For everyone. They're almost the anti-rock-band. If it were any other band, a coke arrest would be nothing but a blip on the radar... but The Barenaked Ladies? Come on, Steven.

I hope I'm wrong. Because, well, that would be a pretty stupid place to go with your life when you have more opportunities than most of us could ever dream of.

Here are some Steven Page goodies. No matter how much damn coke he snorts, his voice is still amazing.






I had the pleasure of seeing BNL live a couple years ago, and man, I'm glad I went. Not only was it probably my last chance to do so (not that I could have known that at the time), but it was an amazing show.

While I do understand the choice to boot Page, I really don't understand how they're going to survive without him. So many of those songs are just his.
I know this sounds super cheesy, but an era in Canadian music fizzled today. And it really sucks.

To Arc or Not To Arc

I've been posting a lot of useless crap lately. I figured it was about time to post something slightly on topic.

I had two separate conversations today about arcs on TV.

The first conversation happened as I walked by my parents' bedroom. My Dad was reading Batman and had the TV on. I poked my head in the door and asked what he was watching. He answered 'Galactica'. I made a comment about how I'd never really gotten into it because it was a little soap opera-ee for me, but that I'd heard that it was very good. He shrugged and said that he was always confused whenever he caught an episode. He didn't know who the Cylon of the week was. It was the kind of show that you really had to watch every episode of to really understand.

But, then, I remembered that my Dad watches 24 every single week without fail because he's hooked to the continuing storyline.

Later, I was sitting with my brother and we got to talking about our favorite shows again. I can't remember what brought this conversation around, but we got to talking about LOST and how my brother was confused. "I don't know who's evil. There are people who you think are good that are evil and people that were evil that are good now and good people that turned evil. You're trying to follow, like, thirteen lives and it's confusing."

I watched almost all of the first season of Lost and then I missed a couple episodes and when I tuned in again, I was so confused that I'm still wondering where that hour of my life disappeared to. I haven't watched it again since.

You look at something like CSI, and it's heavily bottle episode based. I can tune in whenever I want. It doesn't matter if I missed the previous episode or if it's a repeat or what have you. I can watch and enjoy. And it's one of the most successful dramas in recent history. BUT many people say that they really wish they could know more about the characters on CSI. I would have to agree. I would bring Miami into the picture... and how it's a bit more woven... but I can't stand Horatio. And I was really pissed off that they killed his wife and then promptly did not deal with how it would feel to have your wife murdered. I mean, if you're going to use something so personal in your story line, you can't just refuse to deal with the repercussions. Anyways. I digress.

But, to use an example from a similar format to Battlestar, Stargate is pretty balanced in the arc department. Well, from what I've seen of it. I've never been confused. I have a couple seasons of Atlantis on DVD and I'm randomly perusing the episodes and although I've gone 'huh' a couple times, I've never been LOST enough to turn it off. But, there's also some great character moments and continuing threads that don't overwhelm you. I've heard that SG1, on the other hand, was very heavily arc based in the last couple seasons. Seasons that I've never bothered to watch.

And closer to CSI... When I watch NCIS, it's really very balanced. This season has been less of an arc based season, but even back when they were dealing with Ari or the Frog Dude, it wasn't impossible to simply tune in. Plus, they throw out little nuggets for the fans even in the little bottle episodes... such as the time we met Gibbs' Dad. You didn't need to know anything about the show to watch and understand the case or what's going on, but it was especially touching for all of us who watch week in and week out to find out about Gibbs' Dad and learn that Shannon was the one who'd stared the 'rules'.

Shows like House have almost a weekly storyline (the patient) thrown in with the continuing thread (drug abuse, babies, relationships, friendships, etc).

I guess you can tell where my bias lies... But I can't dispute that shows like Battlestar and Lost have been quite successful -- and, hey, look at 24 -- even if they aren't my cup of tea. Oh, and those last two seasons of Stargate: SG1 (that I didn't watch) spawned a movie that sold very well. Shows what I know I guess, hey?

I guess the big question to anyone who knows something is... What do you prefer? Both in terms of writing and in terms of watching.

Acting

This is going to be really pointless...

I've always thought that being an actor would be horrible. Actually, I kinda know it would be horrible. Sit around and wait. Memorize tons of lines. Either be really poor or have people following you around like school girls... or both if you're really unlucky.

BUT

If I absolutely had to be an actor...

(I know... the horror... if I had to be rich and powerful *sigh* the awfulness... Plus, what are the chances? Seriously, it'd probably be easier to win the lotto. Although I haven't actually checked the stats. But I'm almost positive.)

Anyways...

If I had to, I think I'd choose to do sci fi TV.

Why?

It's the perfect balance. You're un-famous enough to go about your life, but you're famous enough that people will throw conventions in your honour and pay you to attend them. You make enough money to live comfortably (if you're smart) but not enough that your long lost cousin will track you down for money. You're successful enough that people won't think you're a looser but unsuccessful enough to really be judged too critically. If that makes any sense.

So, if I ever had to be an actor, I'd totally be the chick from Smallville or Jewel Stait (is that her name?) or Marina Sirtis (sp??) or something like that. Why? Because I don't know the first person's actual name or the spelling of the last two. And that's totally the point.

In all honesty, I think being famous would be completely miserable. I think Britney Spears is insane, but I really can't judge her, because in all honesty, I'd probably be just as crazy if I were her!

In other news... I had my first Winnipeg Winter Slurpee today and it was amazing.

Virgin Radio

From the FB petition to pull Virgin bus ads:

"The unhappy young women/girls portrayed in the ads are supposed to have been impregnated by "Rock Gods". This insinuates that only heterosexual males can be talented musicians."

Um. Okay. What about the obvious 'this is disrespectful to women'??

Google the ads if you'd like to see them.

To be honest, I didn't exactly really care about the ads. They were kind of 'eh'. BUT. If you're going to petition for them to be removed, the obvious way to go is the 'disrespects women!' angle. I just think it's a little weird to take the sexual orientation angle. How does that ad say that only heterosexual males can be talented musicians? If it's anything, the ad is derogatory towards women.

Is it just me... or is the above an odd angle to take?

One of my hugest pet peeves is when people struggle to create prejudice where there is actually none. We have enough problems with small minded people. Don't create problems where there aren't any.

Well, in this case, there's a problem. In this ad, I see prejudice towards women, and, hey, maybe even rock gods (more stereotyping in this case, but let's not get too much into it), but towards gay men or women? Ridiculous.

This post is pretty retarded when you consider that the actual ad didn't offend me at all. Just the petition. I thought the ads were bad and not well thought out... and made no point what-so-ever. But I honestly didn't get in a huge huff over them when I saw them.

What Awful News

Being a complete Winnipegger, there's no way I could have managed to go through life without knowing who Ron Able was. I spent many mornings on the way to school listening to him and Caroline.

Ron died today. He was 57 years old. Fifty Seven. He found out that he had pancreatic cancer less than a month ago.

I'm not a huge country music fan, but Ron always made me laugh. A true Winnipeg legend. I honestly don't remember not having Ron Able somewhere on my dial.

I didn't know Ron personally, so it's an odd feeling... We come to feel as if we know these people because we hear them every day and they share so much with us.

Most of all, I'm just angry as hell at cancer. When will this stop? It seems like everyone has lost someone to cancer and yet most of us are so uneducated and so disconnected when it comes to what we can do to help... Whether it's where we should donate money to or where we can volunteer or what we should be doing for ourselves... we either don't know or don't do and it really just breaks my heart.

We put a man on the moon. We should be able to cure cancer.

57 years old. Just fine a month ago. This could be any one of us.

Writers, Take a Gander

Okay, so, at times, my spelling and grammer might not be the best. But when I'm trying to get a job, I use spell check.

Now, this is in no way a dig at the host site of the link I'm about to post. I've used this site to get every single one of my radio jobs. I owe this site my career.

No, this is a dig at the people who post on the site's 'Talent For Hire'. When you go to post your ad, there's a huge warning saying that the owner WILL NOT SPELL CHECK or EDIT your post. At all. As he shouldn't... we all should be able to do that ourselves!

Anyways, sometimes, I read the 'Talent For Hire' section just to laugh at the typos. I mean, come on people! Who's going to hire you if you put Randon capital Letters in your ad or miss things like punctuation or don't know the difference between your and you're. The spelling mistakes are the worst... because we all have SPELL CHECK!

Whenever I need to feel less dumb, I check out this site:
http://www.milkmanunlimited.com/talent.htm

Anyone with any sort of skill in the written form of the English language will get a kick out of it.

Bale Is A Retard

Will Dixon just posted a bit of a different take on the whole Christian Bale rant. You can read it by clicking the link on my side bar.

I still think it was an ass wipe thing to do.

I don't care if you're putting yourself out there. Now, I'm not saying that I don't understand the pressure of being an actor. Or the intensity of being an actor. I'm no Christian Bale, but I've been an actor and I've worked as talent. I understand. You're the one people see/hear. I get it.

It's still no excuse.

Will's POV is interesting none the less.

See, this is how it should be. I don't agree with his POV, but I'm not yelling and screaming and calling him a mo$%^& f$%^&er co** s#%^er because of it!

We all get angry. The decent people know where to draw the line.

I really have no clue why this makes me so upset. I mean, I don't know Christian Bale. I never will. I'll never have to deal with him. I think it probably has something to do with the fact that I would like to think that, deep down, we'd all like to get together and sing 'It's A Small World' while holding hands. I understand that's a little idealistic. But people like Christian Bale bring dreamers like me back down to reality and, well, it makes me a little upset. Completely silly, I know.

Let me dream, Christian! Let me dream!

Nick Carter

Well, my teen idol was Nick Carter. I'm not going to lie -- I was head over heels.

But towards the tail end of my teenage years, he started to look a little, well, rough. I saw a picture of him a few weeks ago and thought, damn, he's looking good again!

(It's also notable that AJ is looking like shit)

Anyways... the reason he looks so damn sexy *ahem* I mean, wonderfully manly and refined? He's sobered up.

I mean, I don't think it's a surprise to anyone that this kid (who's now 29!) was doing drugs. All you had to do was LOOK AT HIM! He went from being a really skinny, cute kid to an adult with horrible skin and a weight problem. His eyes were half lidded and glassy. He didn't make any sense when he spoke. (Although you could argue that that had more to do with his intelligence than his drug use.)

What I don't understand is how someone can make such a stupid decision when they've dealt with others with the same problem. Doesn't anyone remember the whole 'AJ Goes To Rehab' debacle? My teenage self remembers Mr. Carter CRYING ON NATIONAL TELEVISION OVER IT!

I have this weird fascination with child stars. They always seem to crash and burn. I guess it's a symptom of too much money and control way too young. I know this might sound utterly retarded, but I feel really bad for these former kids. It wasn't their choice to be child stars. That was up to their parents. Now, that doesn't mean that I don't think their choices were stupid, etc, but I see how these things can happen when you're brought up with people around you who say yes to your every whim because you're paying for their kids' braces.

I dunno... I've always had a soft spot for these utterly screwed up beyond belief child stars. It must be my 'I Can Fix You!' complex at work. Just look at my dating record :P That should explain everything.

Christian Bale

Has everyone heard the Christian Bale rant? If not, HERE YOU GO!

Didn't I just post about this sort of thing?

If someone treated me like that, I'd like to say that I'd stand up for myself (or smack him!), but to be completely honest, I'd probably just burst out in tears.

My understanding is that the director of photography adjusted a light. A light! All of this over a light? No one has the right to talk to someone else that way. Period. What a dick wad.

I can't even begin to describe how much this bothers me! I would never dream of treating someone that way. I understand that not all people have the same standards that most of us have when it comes to human interaction, but, COME ON!

Putting It Out To The World

I can't remember where I heard this -- maybe it was Oprah? -- but apparently, when you really want something, you're supposed to put it out to the world and let it know. Cheesy, I know, but it can't hurt, right?

Someone got in contact with me about a job that I really want. Really want. It's perfect. It would give me great opportunities, a chance to grow, and a chance to use my skills. I really want this job.

So, world, there it is. I want this job.

And as for today's music vid, it's really just music... Phil Colins has a Canadian son named Simon. He's had a few singles you've probably heard on Canadian radio, but this one is special. For Genesis' 40th anniversary, he recorded a remake of 'Keep It Dark'. It's amazing. I mean, I knew he sounded like his Dad... but with Phil's trademark reverb, it really is striking how much he sounds like his Dad. Anyways, I really loved the song to begin with and I'd probably say that the cover is almost... better than the original.

Things I Don't Think I'd Be Good At, Part 1

Dealing With Pissy/God Complexed/Diva Actors/Producers, etc

What triggered this? I just heard of a CABLE ACTOR knocking out a rookie stunt man on purpose. He's on cable! And not even one of those super cool cable shows that everyone wants to write for! If you want to read a really awesome awful actor story, head over to Joseph Mallozzi's blog and just search for champaigne or poop or candy. Seriously.

I look at everyone as equals. I can't stand it when people look down on me or anyone else. If I saw someone treating someone else like crap, or worse, if they were treating me like crap, I honestly don't know if I could keep my mouth shut.

Why do people skills seem to go out the window as we head up the ladder?

Thinking vs. Writing

I've been doing a lot of thinking about writing lately, but not much writing. Which is totally useless. It's like thinking about eating lunch and then starving while trying to decide what to eat.

To be completely honest, that initial burst at the start of a writing project is just so hard. Once I'm started and I know my characters, it's easy going (relitively), but those first few days are so tough and it really is hard to motivate myself. On the other hand, I love being in the middle of a project. I just have to keep reminding myself of that fact to get over that initial hump.

I discovered the training tank at Pan Am today. I had been a little scared of it because, well, I'm not a super star swimmer. Actually, I'm neither super or star. But, it wasn't so bad. Some really hot guy gave me his lane once he was winding down and I got to rock my new billion dollar bathing suit. Actually, there were quite a few really hot half dressed men. Who would have thought? :P

311

The City of Winnipeg's new 311 service is retarded. Why? Because, now, you don't actually talk to anyone AT THE PLACE YOU'RE CALLING! All city lines are routed through 311. You have no choice. For instance, I called Seven Oaks pool the other day and got 311. The person that answered gave me info and when I got home, I checked online and found that the info I'd been given was WRONG! I doubt that I'd get wrong info from SOMEONE ACTUALLY AT THE POOL! There's no way these people can know EVERYTHING about every rec center in the city! Talking to someone actually in the building is alawys better. I just called Pan Am Pool and got the 311 line again and I've been on hold for ten minutes to talk to someone who doesn't even work at the pool and know what's going on. What gets me is that you actually have no choice. If you really need to talk to someone at the pool, you'll still get 311.

311 might be good for very basic info, but there's times when you need someone who knows what they're talking about, you know? Someone to explain something or give you more than just basic details.

I can't believe our tax dollars are paying for this!

House

Oh, House, you're killing me!

So, we finally found out where Cameron fits in.

And 13... on the placebo :( My heart just broke!

I think Taub tried to off himself.

My show is good again! Yay!

New episode tonight... New NCIS tomorrow... I'll be at skating. Shall have to tape.

Rolling Down The Highway

I actually quite enjoy my morning commute to work. In AB, my commute was about 10 minutes (if that), and now, I drive almost an hour in each direction. I thought I would hate it. But I actually really enjoy it. I get in the car and get a good 45 minutes to relax and listen to music and get ready to start my day. I used to get to work still half asleep, but now, I get to work ready to start the day.

My headlights seem to be a bit dim. I can't figure it out. They were both switched at the dealership, so they should be the right lights. On the highway in the evening, I thought they were a little dim and then I thought it was just me... Until another car pulled up in the lane beside me and lit up the highway. I can't figure it out... They're not dirty! Oh, and plus now that it's mucky outside, my windshield wipers seem to have decided to not work properly. They'll work fine in 'normal mode', but when I try to clean the windshield, nothing happens. Nothing! It's not like it's out of fluid. Nothing happens. No wipers, no trying to squirt washer fluid. NOTHING!

Today's music video is 'Coalmine' from the Armchair Cynics:

My Day So Far

I went to see BENJAMIN BUTTON this afternoon. It was amazing. That is all.

I spent a good couple hours going through that pile of misc. CDs we all have and labelling them. I found some neat stuff... and some awful stuff... such as some old high school writing :P

In keeping with my music posts, here's a link for you. I had to use a link because there were no good embed-able vids of this one. The only one I could find was some sort of mashup of anime and a different version of the song. Anyways, my choice for today is Ingram Hill's Almost Perfect. I love this song. Love it. This version is better, too, and it was number one on the countdown I programmed for, oh, ever... At that station, we did a great job of finding things that other stations might not play that were good. Some stations try and fail by playing crap. This one isn't totally unknown, but I haven't heard it spun in a while and not at all in MB or AB. It's kinda country but not... which is good because I usually hate country!

EDIT: Since I can't embed the song I wanted to, here's a cover of 'With You'. I hate the Chris Brown version, but somehow, this one works for me.


I signed up for skating this week. I start next Tuesday. I have to go all the way out to the complete opposite side of the city! If you drew a map of Winnipeg and plotted both my house and the arena, they would be pretty much as far apart as possible while still being inside the perimiter. It's actually kind of ridiculous.

My parents are going to Ottawa this week, leaving me to look after my teenage brother. My other brother is going to nab him for the weekend, but it'll be up to me to get him to school and make sure he doesn't starve to death for most of the week. Wish me luck.

Music

So I think I'm going to start posting a couple music vids a week. I'll try for things that people might not have heard (or at least might have forgot about), but I also love the predictable poppy stuff, so whatever :P

The "A Walk To Remember" soundtrack is actually pretty awesome because Switchfoot did like the whole thing. Here's one of my favs of theirs (off of another album, though):

Saps Unite!

I've decided to start another major project and get it done pretty quickly. I have the time, so why not?

Over the last year and a bit, I've speced quite a bit and I've also written several shorts, and of course, my baby -- my feature.

Writing a feature was so different than specing a TV show. I always thought I'd love to write for TV (and I still would), but I really enjoyed spinning a story in my head and creating new characters and plotting and then taking it from begining to end.

So, my new project is going to be a feature. I don't need another spec at this time.

When I write, I have the gift of being a somewhat of a crazy writer. I write a ton and I write quickly. When I don't write, I don't write. Hopefully I'll be able to get a draft out before I start school again.

I've embraced my inner romantic... I've tried other genres, but somehow, although I'm the most unromantic person in life, I seem to gravitate to it when I write. Maybe I'm not dating the right people :P

So, I'm writing a romance. I've been listening to a lot of my favorite love songs for inspiration. Here's what's in my media player right now:

BNL -- Call and Answer
Blue Rodeo -- Five Days in May
Blue Rodeo -- Lost Together
Garth Brooks -- Shameless (Don't laugh!)
Beatles -- In My Life
Beatles -- Blackbird
Lauren Hill -- Can't Take My Eyes Off You
Association -- Never My Love
Lenny Kravitz -- It Ain't Over Till It's Over

Yes, in the new year, I've resolved to be sappy :P

Baby It's Cold Outside

It's freaking cold. Nostril sticking together, eye lash freezing, grown men wearing snow pants to the store, school bus cancelling, big tough truck not starting COLD!

Ironically, it should be 2 by Sunday. Huh.

I haven't been posting much lately... to say things have been rough would be an understatement. It's hard to explain... I don't feel like I've made/am making wrong decisions. I just feel... worried. I feel that I'm not working towards a career right now in my job. At school, I'm working towards a career, but at work? Not so much. It's a lot more distressing than I thought it would be.

On the other hand, I sort of like going into work every day, doing my job, and leaving without worries. Part of me feels really guilty about loving that.

I had a really stressful job. I worked evening and weekends all the time because I couldn't get everything done during office hours. There were times when I hated that job. Hated it. But, part of me sort of misses the importance of it, you know?

Reading back over most of this, it sort of doesn't make sense. I think that's because the whole situation doesn't make f-n sense! The reasons I'm feeling so... distressed are pretty muddled and... hard to pinpoint and because of that, I have a hard time describing it. So, in that sense, this post not making sense really does make sense.

I've never reacted to something like this before. I usually meet challenge head on and just do what needs to be done. I make a decision, run with it, and that's it. It's very foreign to me to be so comsumed by worry and doubt. I'm not quite sure how to deal with it.